Wasted Dawn
by Raven Shadowe
Summary: Leah attempts to readjust to life in spite of the treachery of her family. Disgusted by Bella, she tries to tank her sorrows, but fails. Finally, she gives up on life. Then she shifts... Rated M for mild sex and drug use. Some scenes mirror those in the book, but with new twists. This is finished for now, but might someday have a sequel.
1. Healing

The woods were dark and cooling, soothing to a mind on fire. Water dripped from the mossy trees, and their fragrance made Leah feel as though a quagmire of stinging poison had begun to wash from her thoughts.

She breathed deeply, drinking in the setting. Growing up, she had spent no more time outdoors than the other kids on the reservation, but she had always enjoyed the time she spent there. People rarely hazarded the carnivore-ridden woods, leaving her to her own devices. There were no eyes in the forest, or none with opinions.

The trail was one she had often trodden before, but not in years. It was refreshing to see it again, both more familiar than her home and less familiar than itself. Unlike humans, forests could not help but move on; they were in a constant state of change.

The moss filled her lungs, and green wood filled her eyes. The healing of the rain began to cleanse her soul. There was no dust; nothing was as clean as a forest, if rain was falling.

Her grey top was soaked, as were her jeans. That was how she knew she had been there for hours. It hardly mattered. She would wash away the tears before there were no more to wash. She had to do something before nature ran its course, or she would lose the chance to do so.

_I will not say that I did nothing._

A motor sounded on the road, and she looked back. It was a quiet motor, and far away, but she could hear it. Jacob Black probably could have told her the make and model of the vehicle just from the sound, but Leah didn't care to know. _Keep going_ she though.

The engine slowed, then cut. She groaned, and headed back. Her family's car was very old, but she still didn't need some punk messing around with it. One of the locks didn't work right.

As she walked, she realized how far she had come. It happened sometimes, when she had a heavy load on her mind, that tasks seemed to do themselves, and great hikes became quick jaunts.

"Clearwater, right?"

Leah's head whipped up from the ground she had been studying, and she stopped in her tracks. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and the blood ran out of her face.

"Am I right?" asked Alice Cullen.

"Cold one" said Leah, the one phrase that would willingly come from her mouth.

"Yes yes," Alice said, fidgeting. She wore a blue top and black slacks.

Leah had to smirk. "Don't know how to dress for a hike?" she asked.

"Don't you?"

The smirk fell away. "Cullen, I'm not in the mood" she said. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be gone. My friends are celebrating your departure right now."

Alice smiled, and collapsed her white umbrella. The rain stopped, almost simultaneously. "I am supposed to be gone" she agreed. "In fact, my brother might be angry if he knew I wasn't."

Leah stared at her. "How did you do that?" she asked.

"Do what?"

She fought back a snarl. The bias around La push was that it was unwise to provoke a Cullen. _If you make them feel like chewing your head off, they might just do it._ "You put the umbrella down before it stopped raining, but you still didn't get wet."

"It's just the weather silly. Rain is easy to predict."

Leah glared. "Whatever," she said, "I need to get by you."

"Hold on." Alice put out her hands, and Leah stopped. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?"

"If your friends are all dancing around their camp fires and celebrating my family's departure...where are you?"

Leah growled, but kept her distance. "Where do you think I am?" she asked.

"Moping in the woods."

That almost did it. "Girl," Leah measured a space between her thumb and forefinger, "you are this close to-"

"-getting the shit beaten out of me, I know."

Leah blinked. "You did it again" she said.

"I did, didn't I?"

"How? How the fuck did you do that?"

Alice's eyes flashed as she grinned. "What am I?" she asked.

"Annoying, unwanted, uninvited...other things."

"Maybe so, but I was referring to the Quileute legends."

"I'd say the same applies. Move."

Alice snarled; her teeth were whiter than pearls, and perfectly spaced, but that was not what surprised Leah. The length and sharpness of the incisors was incredible.

In a moment of panic, Leah took a step back, and then another.

"You really are frustrating. What am I?"

"Cold one; blood drinker."

"Bingo" Alice's voice was musical again, and no sign remained of the monster she had just been. "Right and right. And to answer _your_ question, that is how I predict the rain. I...I have a gift for foretelling things. It just comes naturally."

Leah became aware that her eyes were wide, and her body tense. She had prepared herself to fight or fly, though she was suddenly possessed of the feeling that she could have succeeded in neither had she tried. "What do you want?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something."

"Why should I help you? Don't you kill people?"

Alice tisked at her. "Really, you ought to pay closer attention to your heritage" she said. "You should have heard by now that our coven doesn't drink _human_ blood. That would be inhumane."

"Whatever, are you going to kill _me_ if I don't help you with your diabolical scheme?"

"Of course not, but I'm pretty sure you will, because I foresaw Charlie thanking Billy over the telephone."

"Who?"

"Charlie Swan thanking Billy Black. You know Billy, don't you?"

Leah groaned. "Yes," she said, "I know Billy. What does that have to do with me?"

"Nothing...and everything. I'm not sure why, but I need you to take a message."

Impassively, Leah stared at the snowy-skinned creature, trying to decide how much of her hostility she dared to show. "Now's not a good time" she said.

"Now is the only time, actually. My friend is in danger."

"Good."

The beautiful golden eyes flashed with fury, but only for a moment. Leah would have missed the reaction if she had blinked.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter."

"Bella Swan?" Leah asked, incredulously. "Jacob's one true love?"

Alice crinkled her nose. "I guess so. Whatever floats your boat. Just tell Billy to plug his phone in."

"Plug his phone in?"

"Or you could just do it for him."

"Why is it unplugged in the first place?"

"I don't know. I see forward, not backward."

"So I just tell him to plug his phone in, and what? That's all?"

"All for you."

"What kind of danger is Bella in?"

Alice stepped closer, with sincerity in her eyes. "Leah, please; she's alone in the woods without the sense to come in out of the rain. She needs your help."

Leah shook her head. "Why should I help someone who doesn't have any sense?" she asked.

"Because she needs you."

"If she needs help, then she doesn't deserve it."

Alice frowned. "How can you say that?" she asked.

"Because it's not my problem."

"Well what _is _your problem?"

Leah growled, and edged past Alice. She had made it, she had won, when the vampire spoke again.

"Someone left you, didn't they?"

Leah stopped, and almost rounded to throw a punch, but decided that it would be a bad idea.

"Who was it?" the voice was honeyed, and caring.

"None of your business."

"And now you can't reach out and help someone who's going through exactly the same thing?"

"Of course not" Leah fairly shouted as she whirled around. "I'm pulling through this. God damn it, I'm pulling through. If someone tried to help me, then I couldn't fully heal. What if I came to need my rescuer as much as I needed the man who gave me the wound in the first place? I'd be setting myself up for another heartbreak, wouldn't I?" She was inches from Alice's face, and unafraid in her anger. "I need to heal myself" she said.

Alice thought for a moment before replying. "But at least your heart _could_ be broken again" she said. "At least it would still be human. At least it would be whole."

"Well that may be fine and dandy for Bella Swan," Leah said, backpedaling away from her, "but I am perfectly content to be a monster, if monsters never need to cry. Help her yourself." She turned again to leave.

"Clearwater" said Alice. There was a tear in her voice. "Please...Edward won't let me help her. He wouldn't even let me say goodbye."

Leah sighed as she returned yet again. "My name is Leah" she said. "Who's Edward?"

"My brother. Bella's...her ex I suppose."

"Well that figures, doesn't it? He's ass enough to break her heart, she's too stupid to get dry, and you're too afraid of him to help her." Leah threw her hands into the air. "Just admit it, you people hate each-other."

"I'm trying to help her" Alice shouted. It was terrifying. There were decades in that shout; decades of pain and longing, and bittersweet love. Her tone softened, though her intensity remained the same. "I came to you."

Moments passed, then seconds, then a long, long minute. Finally, Leah relented. "I'll try," she said, "but I want something for it."

Alice was instantly on guard. "I don't give readings for amusement" she said. "Not usually anyhow."

"Then give one for a fee. You do your psychic medium thing, and give me one answer, and I go make sure Billy-fucking-Black has his blasted phone plugged in."

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

The words almost stuck in Leah's throat. Angry with herself, she stared at the ground, and tried again. "Will I always be alone?" she asked, at last.

Alice sighed. "Ok," she said, and closed her eyes.

Leah could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she waited. Cullen's expression first fell, then soured, then revolted.

When Alice opened her eyes, they were wild with fear. "What are you?" she asked.

It cut deeply. "I'm a woman, what do you think I am?"

Alice shook her head with growing intensity. "I don't see anything" she said.

"How can you see nothing? I thought you could see everything?"

"I don't see anything for you...anything at all." Alice's voice had grown frantic, and she put her fingers over her temples as she sank to sit on a wet root. "It's not supposed to be this way" she said.

"Am I going to die?" Leah asked. Her heart was rushing.

"No, if you were then I could see it. You just...are you even really there?" she asked.

"Of course I exist, don't I look like it?"

"You look like it, sound like it, smell...oh yes you definitely smell real." The beautiful golden eyes came open. "But I don't see any of that in the future." Alice's frown was a juggernaut of cunfusion.

"How can I not be there, Cullen?"

"Maybe you'll become a vampire with the ability to turn invisible?" Alice asked hopefully.

Leah's wide eyes narrowed sightly. Furiously, she turned on her heel and headed back to her car.

"Wait" Alice called.

"What good is a gift like that if you can't even see that I exist?"

"Leah!"

"Shut up" Leah spat over her shoulder without stopping. "I'll give the man your damned message. You didn't have to haze me first, bitch."


	2. Strange New Moon

Charlie groaned as he went for the phone again.

"Yeah," he said as he picked up the receiver.

"Chief Swan, thank goodness you're home" said Mrs. Stanley. "I tried to call you before, but your line was busy. Charlie, I can see...oh it must be a dozen little fires from my window."

Charlie straightened up. "Where?" he asked.

"Right near the Quileute land. I can see them right now out my upstairs window."

That was puzzling. "You're sure they're outside the reservation?"

"Maybe outside...but it almost looks like it could be _on_ the reservation from here. Some up on the cliff-tops."

Charlie cocked and eyebrow. "But what could be burning out there?" he asked.

"I have no idea, but something is for certain."

"Look, I'll call down there and check it out." Charlie hung up the receiver and sighed as he dialed Billy's number. "Hey, Billy, it's Charlie—sorry I'm calling so early..."

"Hey Charlie, that's no problem. The boys said you found Bella. Is she hurt?"

"No, she's fine. She's sleeping..."

"That's good. I was pretty worried about her over here..."

"Thanks, but that's not why I called. I just got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the cliffs, but I didn't really..."

"Yea, the boys are celebrating."

Anger flared through Charlie. "Oh" he said. "And why are they doing that?"

"The Cullens' departure has been a popular event over here."

Chief Swan seethed. "Uh huh. Really?" _No wonder they left_ he thought. He had hoped that he and Billy had been past that, but apparently the wound was still open.

"Charlie, I know you like the family, and you're entitled to. But the boys here..."

"Well don't apologize to _me_."

Billy's voice sounded annoyed. "You're the one that matters to me" he said.

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure the flames don't spread..."

"Fat chance of that."

"I know, I know, I'm surprised they got them lit at all in this weather." Charlie hesitated, but decided he had to solidify their friendship again, or Billy might end up bringing Jacob over to watch ball again, and only after a few weeks had passed. "Thanks for sending Sam and the boys up" he said. "You were right, they do know the forest better than we do. It was Sam who found her, so I owe you one..."

"My pleasure, Charlie. Now if you wouldn't mind, it's getting toward my bed-time."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you later." He hung up the receiver and sighed again. It was beyond him how the Quileutes could bear such resentment for the good doctor. "If that thing rings again, I should unplug it afterward" he grumbled, heading back to bed.

"What's wrong?" asked Bella, who was still on the couch. He had thought she was asleep.

_Hooligans making trouble,_ he thought as he hurried to her side. "I'm sorry I woke you, honey."

"Is something burning?"

"It's nothing. Just some bonfires out on the cliffs."

"Bonfires?" He barely heard the question in her voice.

"Some of the kids on the reservation being rowdy" he explained.

"Why?" The way she made it sound like a statement unsettled Charlie.

_I don't think she's always done that,_ he thought. _The last thing she needs to hear right now is that..._ "They're celebrating the news."

She stared at the ceiling. "Because the Cullens left. They don't like the Cullens in La Push—I'd forgotten that."

"It's ridiculous," Charlie spluttered. _Crazy is more like it._ He sat in the chair where he had intended to sleep. The sun was rising...somewhere. "Bella?" he asked.

She met his eyes uneasily.

"He left you alone in the woods?"

She looked at the ceiling again. "How did you know where to find me?" she deflected.

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Your note" he said, reaching into his pocket to find it. He unfolded it and showed it to her. "When you didn't come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered." He remembered the panic of that moment, and he kept his voice low. "Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone."

"Where did they go?"

Charlie stared at her, shock quickly taking over his scope. "Didn't Edward tell you?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him."

She shook her head again. "Money doesn't matter to Carlisle" she said. "He must think he can do more good there. That's how he is."

"Oh, uh, I guess you're right. That does sound like him." A moment passed in awkward silence. Finally, Charlie forced himself to ask again, "I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods."

Again, she shook her head, with greater force. "No, we were right by the house, but...well, I kind of tried to follow him. I was shocked."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but she covered her ears.

"I can't talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room." Then she was gone, lurching up the stairs.

Charlie stayed in his chair, unable to sleep, but too tired to do anything. The pain in his daughter's eyes had been palpable, and contagious. Misery flooded in on him.

At some point, he must have slept, because he awoke with a start when she screamed. He flailed around, looking for the baseball bat he always kept by his bed-side, but it was there and he wasn't.

"Edward!" Bella screamed upstairs.

Charlie bolted up the stairs as though chased by wolves. He ran into Bella's door when it refused to open. The word _locked_ flashed through his mind, followed by _suicide._ "Bella" he shouted at the top of his voice. "Bella, honey, are you alright in there?" he wrapped his fist hard against the door. As nothing continued happening, he applied his shoulder, and the old wood yielded.

Bella rolled over then, apparently awakened by the noise, but she had not stopped screaming.

Charlie rushed over to her and caught her in his arms. "Bella, Bella it's alright, you're safe" he said. "I'm right here." _Never mind that I'm not who you want. You want that bastard who left you out there. And you _need_ your mother._

"Dad?" Bella asked.

"I'm here for you."

"Oh dad" she said, wrapping her arms around him. In the process she dislodged the album Renee had sent her, which had been resting on her stomach.

"It's ok, it's ok. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Only then, as he looked up, did Charlie realize that the sun had risen. "Bella, it's morning" he said. He heard the tears in his voice before he felt them burning in his eyes. "Its a bright new day."


	3. Dead Eyes

The phone of the Clearwater residence spluttered out its exhausted-sounding ring.

"Leah," called Sue from the kitchen, "could you get that? I'm a little busy."

Lea dropped her pencil onto her stack of homework and ran for it. "I got it" she answered as she reached for the receiver. "Hello?" she said.

"Leah?"

"Hello Emily." Resentment washed over Leah, but she held it in. It wasn't her cousin's fault. "How's it going?"

"I..." Emily's voice was unstable. "I wanted to talk...about..."

"About something I don't want to hear?"

Silence stretched out for a few seconds. "Leah," Emily finally said, "I wouldn't ask if I didn't need help. I know it must be..."

"Horrible. Whatever, shoot. I can take it."

"I think...I think he may be outside. Outside my house."

Leah's eye stretched wide. "Do you have pepper spray?"

"I...what? Um...no."

"How about a baseball bat?"

"Do you really think he'd hurt me?"

"He never sat outside _my_ door. He's acting really, really weird, and I would consider that dangerous enough to warrant even the most desperate measures."

"I'm scared."

"So am I, call the police."

"On...on Sam?"

"Damn straight. He's not himself. He was totally stable for three years straight, and then he just randomly misses two weeks of school in a row. Girl, that's not Sam anymore. I don't know what changed, but whatever it is has reached his core." Leah's bitterness reached her voice, and she attempted to calm down. The last thing she needed was to start crying again.

"Ok, if it gets bad I'll call them. But I'm going to try just telling him to get lost first. I feel so bad..."

"Don't feel bad. You didn't do anything. But do something for me, if you would."

"What?"

"Take damn good care of yourself, ok?"

"If I need to, I'll kick him in the balls."

"How about twice? Now say good-bye and call the cops."

"Bye."

"Bye bye." Leah put the phone back on its hook. Immediately it rang again. "Shit" she said, before picking it up again. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Leah? Is that you? This is Charlie Swan."

"Oh, hey chief."

"I wonder if I might talk to Harry."

"About your fishing trip?"

"Yes. I guess you heard...about Bella."

"Oh believe me, I heard about it. I heard you found her, right?"

"Yes, but...she's in bad shape. It's been a couple of days now, and she's barely spoken. I don't think I can make the trip tomorrow."

"Why not?" Leah did not mean to sound so cold, but she could hardly help it.

"Well...I have to look after her. I hate seeing her like this. I already told the Newtons that she won't be in this week."

"If you hate seeing her like that, then you're just going to have to get away from her for a while. She'll be like a limp cabbage leaf whether you watch or not."

"She has been ever since." Charlie sounded disgruntled, and Leah regretted her crassness. "She looks like...like what her mom was describing before she got here last winter."

"Then the last thing she needs is to be left alone. She should go to work, Chief. Give her something to occupy her mind with."

"Uh..."

"You should go fishing with my dad. It will do you good."

"Maybe so."

"Do you still want me to tell him it's off, or not?"

"Leah..."

"Well have him up for breakfast tomorrow anyhow. See if that does anything. For either or you."

"Ok. I guess you could tell him to bring his tackle, just in case."

"I'll make sure he does. Good-bye Chief."

"Bye."

Leah sighed and turned toward her room again.

"Who was that?" asked her mother.

"Chief Swan wanted to know if Dad was still going fishing. He's worried about leaving Bella alone."

"Oh, I hope she's ok" Sue said.

"I told him as much." Leah could see her mother through the archway. She seemed to have her hands full with dinner. _I'd better leave my door open, in case it rings again._

The alarm clock purred beside Leah, and she shut it off while still half asleep. She stared at the ceiling. _Why did I set my alarm? Today is Saturday._ Then she groaned and pushed the covers off of herself. _Fishing._ She pulled some clean clothes from the dresser and made for the shower. _At least Seth isn't already in there today. He'll probably sleep in, as people should on the weekend._ She stripped and washed the previous day's grime away in the cold water. The faucet hadn't run hot water in years.

When she emerged, clean and dressed, she found her father pouring coffee. "Can I get a cup of that?" she asked.

He looked up, surprised. "I thought you hated coffee" he said.

"So did I, but it looks like there's plenty for two in there."

"Alrighty then" said Harry, and fished a second mug out of the sink.

"Thanks."

Harry leaned on the counter. "Fist you want to go fishing, and now you're drinking coffee" he mused.

"The nice thing about a breakup is that you finally have time for everything again. Like homework."

"And everything else you used to hate?"

Leah scowled and took a draw of bitter black coffee. "I used to do the things he would do, just to spend time with him" she said. "I need to remember whether I hated coffee because I really didn't like the taste, or if it just wasn't something he drank."

Harry raised his eyebrows, and took a draw on his own mug. "That makes sense" he said.

The drive to the Swan residence seemed to last forever. It was raining, and Harry drove carefully as usual. Leah wanted him to hurry, though she didn't particularly care to reach their destination.

When they reached the house, Charlie Swan opened the front door and came out to greet them.

"Leah" he said, "I didn't realize you would be coming."

"I have to make sure you two go" she said.

Harry shook his head. "If it really is too much, we'll just go on our own" he said.

"Thanks" said Charlie. "I really hate to do that to you though..."

Leah lightly elbowed her father. "We should bring Bella along" she said. "She needs to get out of the house." Charlie was about to object, so Leah continued. "Really" she said. "I know that's what I needed."

"Well...we could ask her, I guess." Charlie looked at the house.

"I was so glad to hear you found her" said Harry. "We were a little worried."

"Yea, well you know it's all due to Billy, right? He sent Sam up..."

Something in Harry's eyes must have warned Charlie, but he stopped too late. Leah tensed at the name. "I'll go see if Bella's up, if that's ok" she said, pushing past the police chief.

"Umm...she is awake. I woke her up." Charlie's voice was sad.

"Bad dreams?" Leah asked.

"Nightmares."

Leah nodded. "She should come along." _Leave you two hens to your blasted gossip why not. Give you a chance to discuss your kids behind their backs._

Bella's room was bigger than Leah's, but had less in it. The bed was in disarray, and Bella lay perfectly still on top of it. The door had recently been repaired.

"Bella?" Leah came into the room, and sat on the corner of the bed. Bella didn't move. "What have you been jamming to?" Leah leaned over and turned the CD player on. _Nothing._ Next she turned the light on. Bella blinked. "Yoohoo, time to get up Bella, you're going fishing."

The head turned to look at Leah. The eyes were dead. "Fishing?" The question sounded like a statement.

"Yea, fishing. You know, with the poles, the lines, the bait and stuff."

"No I'm not. I don't do dangerous anymore."

"That's right, you don't. You're going fishing. The world's most boring and lazy pastime. You'll be completely safe."

Bella waited a moment thinking, then affected a chuckle. "I don't want to fish" she said.

"Well you need to do something. Get the hell up girl, and put some pants on already. I'll get you a cup of coffee."

Harry Clearwater had a recipe for catching fish, just as he had one for frying them. There was a secluded spot in the river that flowed through the reservation where people rarely went. He had discovered long ago, however, that the same rule did not apply to trout. The fish practically sprang out of the water whenever a worm or fly plopped in.

Leah could see, from her spot on the bank, that Bella Swan was not much of a fisherman. She sat beside her father, staring into the black water beneath them, her pole half forgotten in her hand. Once in a while a fish would bump the bait, but she never moved her pole, so they usually got away. In all likelihood the worm was already gone.

Harry tried to lighten the Swans' mood, but Bella didn't appear to hear him, and Charlie only laughed to be polite. In time, Leah's father came back to her side, across the overturned log he had used as a bridge for decades. "I've never seen anyone so dejected" he said.

"She makes me look like a border collie" Leah agreed. Then she yawned. "Dad?" she said.

"Yes?" he let his line into the water again, just as Leah felt a strike on her own. She socked the hook in and reeled away, until the fish was near the surface.

He helped her pull it up to the net. "Nice," he said, "that's gotta be a good ten inches." He looked up when he had tied it to a keeper's string. "What were you saying?" he asked.

"I wanted to ask about...about our stories. The ones about the old Quileutes, back in the day."

"What about them?"

"How true are they?"

Harry's face hardened. "Near as I can say, they're probably all true" he said.

Leah groaned. "So the cold ones?" she asked. "They're real? Vampires?"

Harry looked across the stream. "Oh look, Bella's got a fish" he said.

"She hasn't noticed" said Leah without looking. "Are the cold ones real?"

"What brings this on?"

"Well..." Leah looked down. "I thought I saw one" she said.

"Really? The Cullens, you mean?"

"I came across Alice Cullen in the woods, the day that..._that_ happened" she jerked her head toward Bella. "I had never realized before just how much their family looks like exactly what the legends describe."

"What was Alice Cullen doing on our land?"

"We weren't on our land, I was on the trail. The one Uriah broke his leg on all those years ago."

"Oh." Harry returned his attention to the rod in his hand. "Well, honestly I try not to get too mixed up in that struggle" he said. Leah could clearly see that he was hiding something. "Generally I figure it's up to each of us to decide how much stock to put in our heritage, just as long as we don't lose it outright. But what was she doing there?"

"I don't know, she was probably just getting fresh air like I was."

"Mm hmm." As simply as that, the conversation was over, and nothing would bring it back.

"Bella? Bella!" Splash.

Leah and Harry both looked up. Charlie, with a worried expression on his face as he scanned the disturbed water below, was still on the bank. Bella was not.

The Quileutes set their poles down and scrambled down the bank to the water's edge.

"She should have resurfaced by now," said Harry, "it's not that deep here."

Leah stripped off her sweater and started on her shoes.

"Leah, don't. It's freezing."

Leah's socks went into her shoes, and she jumped into the swell. Her father had been right; it was cold.

He had also been wrong; it was pretty deep there.

Across the stream Leah saw something white, and kicked for it. Bella Swan came into view, unmoving, unblinking, unbreathing as she rested on the stream-bottom. Her eyes were still dead...no, dead was the wrong word; blood still moved through her. But the eyes were dark. They were cold. They were _hazed._ It was as though she had forgotten the sight and warmth of sunlight. As though the light of her life had been snuffed out, and she was left perpetually in a world of strange new moons, and cruelly wasted dawns. Leah was chilled, and almost stopped swimming. Then anger took hold.

The girl in front of her was not her own person. She had been what she was only because of the man she had been with. It was so much like Leah's own relationship with Sam, but the reaction was so different. Bella Swan, who had lived for her blood-sucker, had realized in his absence that she had never known how to live before him. Bereft then, of life, she had not sought to live anew. She had not even wanted to. It was nauseating.

_You idiot._ Leah wanted to scratch out the unblinking eyes, those mindless and unmoving things which cared neither to live nor die. _You worse than nothing!_

She caught hold of the beautiful brown hair and yanked. She kicked with her feet, and churned with her arms until their heads broke the surface.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted, even as Harry called out "Leah!"

Adjusting her grip to hold Bella by her jacket instead of her hair, Leah kicked until they were close enough to some rocks to grab hold of them.

Charlie, who had made it down from the bank, reached in and pulled his daughter to safety. He and Harry looked over her as Leah pulled herself out.

Only then did she realize how long she had been under. She gulped in air, grasping at its soothing energy in her tortured lungs.

Harry looked over at her, then stood and came to see if she was alright.

"I'm fine" she lied. "Make sure Swan is breathing."

Harry nodded and went back.

_Dumb bitch,_ Leah thought, _I hope you drowned._


	4. Elephant in the Room

Two weeks later, Leah still refused to hear a word about Charlie's daughter. At school, some of the kids hailed her as a hero, until she shouted at one of them. That had gotten her in trouble, but it did keep them from praising her openly.

The Swan girl's name had gone onto her mental list of people to avoid, right under that of her imbecilic ex-boyfriend.

The Uley boy, in turn, had not stopped bothering Leah's cousin Emily in all that time. He no longer sat outside her door, after two brushes with the police, but he made attempts to talk to her. He brought her flowers every day, and gave them to her in view of the previous attempt's corpses rotting in the garbage can. She never kept even one. Emily called almost nightly.

Leah got the impression that she was trying to push the bastard back toward her, for which she could only love her more, though she was not ready to forgive the man who had hurt her.

There was no word of the Cullens. It appeared that they really had left. The Quileute teens started going to the Forks hospital again, and everything seemed to be healing. Leah's nightmares began to lessen in scope.

Then one night Hell froze over. Leah had been ready by the phone at seven o'clock after supper, when Emily usually called. She waited, with her homework in front of her for five minutes, not thinking about it. Then ten had passed.

She picked up the phone and dialed Emily's number; no answer.

Worried, Leah tried to work, but her mind was continually dragged away from senior level math and onto what her cousin could be doing.

Eventually she took her paper into her room, and turned on her CD player. Bach filled the air, and she grimaced. She had listened to it a thousand times with _him._ She took out the CD and plopped it into the trash. _What's something you hated?_ She thought, looking at her music shelf. She only had one disc she had not listened to in three years; an old Timber Wolves album. _Good thing I never threw this away_ she decided.

The music didn't do much to help her concentrate, but it did pull her away from painful memories. _I need more music_ she decided.

It was about eight thirty before the telephone finally rang. Leah scrambled out of her room, and just beat Seth to it. "Emily?" she asked.

"Oh, Leah..."

Leah's blood ran cold; it was Sam. "Calling to apologize, I hope?"

"I already did that, but if you like I'll do it again."

"Why the He..." Seth cocked his head to the side as she spoke. "Why are you calling then?"

"I was hoping to get your dad, actually. I needed to talk to him."

Without speaking another word to him, Leah took the receiver away from her ear and shouted "Dad, phone call for you."

Harry left his room and came forward with a curious expression on his face. "Who?" he asked under his breath.

"Some asshole selling condoms."

He took the phone curiously. "Hello?" he asked. As Sam spoke, his eyes shifted back to Leah. "I see" he said.

Leah went to the refrigerator and looked for something more to eat. Anger often made her hungry.

"You what?" asked Harry. "Oh dear. Is she ok? Well that's good...yes, I'll tell them. And Sam...maybe you should try just explaining. I think it might help...I know. Just get some rest...I know, it wasn't entirely your fault. These things happen. I just hope...I just hope you learn from it...I will. Get some rest, ok? Good. Bye." He hung up.

Leah closed the fridge. "What did he want?" she asked.

"Emily has been hospitalized."

Seth gawked, while Leah's heart skipped a beat. "What?" she asked. "What did he do to her?"

The question seemed to hit home, but Harry denied her accusation. "Sam didn't do anything. He actually pulled her out of the woods. It was an animal attack; bear in fact."

"Figures. Well is she ok?"

"Sounds like she got some nasty scratches on her face, but she's alive. He said Gerandy seemed to think she'd be fine soon."

Leah could feel the wood of the chair back creaking under her grip, though she did not remember catching hold of it. "If he didn't do anything then why did he think it was his fault?" she asked.

"He...he thought he should have been close enough to protect her when it happened."

"She wouldn't have left the house with him there."

"That's more than I know. If you want, you can go visit her in the hospital tomorrow after school."

"Forks Hospital?"

"Yeah."

"I think I will. I need some more music anyhow."

Seth followed her to her door, but didn't go into her room. "You need more music?" he asked.

"I just realized I only have one CD that...that I never listened to with Sam. I'll be chucking some shit out, you want any?"

"Sure."

Leah grabbed a box off her floor and piled her entire collection into it, aside from the Timber Wolves album.

"Woah" said Seth, eyes wide. "You sure you don't want this?" he asked.

"Just use your headphones, that's all."

"Sweet." His expression changed. "Do you think Emily's alright?" he asked.

"Have you ever seen a bear up close?"

"No. Not often."

"And you've never had a scar on your face?"

"Neither have you."

"And I sure don't want to either."

Emily's eyes fluttered open as Leah swept in through the door.

"Hey cuz" she said.

"Hey there." Leah sat on the bed. Emily's face was so covered in bandages that one side was entirely invisible. "I hope you gave worse than you took."

Emily smiled. "Ow," she said, "that hurt."

Leah kissed her healthy cheek. "Stupid bears, huh?"

Emily tensed, but relaxed quickly enough. "Yeah, I think I really pissed it off."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because...well, it was pissing me off."

Leah raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure we're talking about a bear?" she asked.

"Yes, definitely" said Emily.

She smiled. "Look at you, taking on the reservation's carnivorous wildlife."

Emily returned the grin, then saw Leah's shopping bag. "Oh, what did you buy?" she asked.

"New music." Leah fished in the bag until she could bring out her three new CDs.

"Miley Cyrus?" Emily sounded incredulous.

"The bane of our existence always hated her, so I decided to give her a second chance."

"Whatever girl, maybe next you should trot out the Jonas Brothers."

"No, I'm good with Beddingfield and Bon Jovi."

Emily smiled again. Then her eyes moved to the doorway. She groaned.

Leah turned to see Sam Uley standing there.

"May I come in?" he asked.

"No" said Leah.

"Wait" said Emily. Her cousin turned to look at her again. "There's something that he and I need to get straight...a few things in fact."

"Do you want me to wait outside?"

"No, but thank you for offering. I can handle him."

Leah sighed, and nodded. She kissed her again, and whispered "Make him blister" before standing to leave. As she passed Sam in the doorway, she gave him her worst glare.


	5. Betrayal

Sunday afternoon found Leah without anything to do. Idleness was what she most dreaded. There had been no word of Emily for two days, and she had begun to worry about her.

The Clearwaters did not have a television, so Harry had gone to a friend's house to watch a game. Leah began to wish that she had gone with him.

She smelled fish from the kitchen. The recipe might have been Harry's but the fish fry was always made by his wife. She knew her kitchen much better than he did.

Leah entered the kitchen and took a long whiff. "Smells like it's almost done" she said.

"Second batch" Sue confirmed. "I sent the first off with your father."

Leah nodded. "Do you need me to run some over to the Blacks again?"

"After supper."

"I'm not hungry."

"You've got to eat something, Leah. If you don't, you'll waste away into nothing."

She shook her head in annoyance. "Fine," she said, "it's not like I have much else to do."

"Atta girl."

Billy Black did not live far from Harry Clearwater, and even the family's run-down car made it in only a few minutes.

As she pulled up in the muddy drive-way, the door opened and Jacob Black appeared in the entrance.

"Leah?" he said as she shut the car door.

"Yeah, it's me. Is it ok if I bring this in?" She shook the bag in the air.

"Your dad's fish fry? Come right ahead."

Leah entered the house. It was even smaller than hers. She set the bag on the table. "I brought extra, so you can take some to Chief as usual" she said.

Jacob's face fell. "Yeah...probably not" he said.

"Why not? Something wrong?"

"My dad hasn't really done anything with Chief since...since the bonfires."

Leah groaned. "So they're going through another phase, huh? Just like before?"

Jacob nodded. "He doesn't even want me to go see Bella. He doesn't think there's anything to be done." Resentment permeated his voice.

Leah shook her head as she pulled out a chair for herself. "I saw her eyes" she said. "I think I have to agree with your dad. Trying to help someone who wants to hurt is...kind of pointless."

"I'd like to be able to try, anyway."

Leah changed the subject. "Have you seen Paul recently?" she asked.

Jacob looked back at her, taking a seat himself. "Paul?" he asked.

"You remember Paul."

"Of course I remember him. What about him?"

"He hasn't been in school."

"Oh." Jacob nodded. "Right, I don't think I've seen him there for weeks. He dropped out, like...a while ago. Not long after..."

"After Sam."

"Yeah, and then I hear...I think they're hanging out together."

Leah glared at the table-top. _Why did I say his name again_ she wondered. _Now I need to change the subject _again_._ Then Billy's door opened, and sent a whiff of air rushing down the hall. It ruffled Jacob's hair and carried its scent to Leah's nose. _Pot._

"Leah?" Billy called.

"Yeah Dad, she's here" Jacob answered.

"Heh hey, hello" said Mr. Black as he came rolling down the hall. "I thought I heard your voice. What can I do for you?"

Leah indicated the fish bag on the table. "You can take this off my hands" she said.

"Words cannot describe the joy it would give me. Fish fry, right?"

"Did you smell it?"

"I always can."

"What can't you smell?"

Billy laughed as he rolled up to the table. "Fear, glass and water, that's about it."

Leah made a point of laughing. "Jacob," she said, "I wonder if I might coerce you to come look at our car. The right rear door doesn't lock."

"Lock? Girl, I work on engines, not doors."

"Well just come see it, will you?"

Billy chuckled, peering into the bag. "Son, why don't you go out there and look at her car?"

"Fine."

Leah waited until they were far enough away that Billy should be unable to hear them. "Pot?" she asked. "Jake, how stupid are you?"

He laughed. "Not as stupid as some."

She grabbed his shirt and pinned him against her car. "What if Billy finds out?" she asked.

"He was there when I had it."

"He what?" Leah's eyes grew wide again. She could smell it on him without the wind, so close was their proximity.

"Please let me go."

"Like I'm going to believe you. You'll break his heart. What are you thinking?"

"Relax, will you?" Jacob raised his hands. "Quil had some joints with him, and he asked Billy if he wanted a smoke, and we said we didn't mind if we did. It's not like I'm some hash-head whose one hobby is buzzing off."

"No, you also build cars." Leah let go of him. "So if I ask your dad to verify this story, will he do it?"

"Look, you want something really stupid?" Jake asked. Before Leah could insist that he stick to her question, he continued. "Some of the guys said they got Meth from some Creke guy who's been hanging around. Now _that_ is stupid. If there was ever a sign that they were losers, I think it just knocked on the door." He breathed in her face, and she backed away from the smell. "Pot is a sugar high in comparison."

Leah gritted her teeth. "Where was this guy hanging out?" she asked.

"Oh Leah, you don't want that trash" he said. "I just said, _that_ shit really will mess you up."

"Someone needs to do something about it."

"I already told my dad. He said he'd send s...someone to look into it."

Leah looked at him for a long moment. "Whatever" she said, finally.

The house door opened. "How's the car?" Billy called.

"Mister Black, your son smells like Pot."

"I know, he had a joint this morning. Drive safely going home, understand?"

Leah groaned and muttered as she got back into the driver's seat.

"Told you" said Jake.

She parked the car, rammed the door shut, and sprang through the starting rain to get into the house.

"How's Billy?" asked Sue as Leah rushed through the kitchen.

"He seems fine."

She slammed the door of her room, and fell onto her bed. Her blood seemed to have solidified in her veins.

Suddenly the room seemed to smell a little funny. _Jacob Black would be so stupid. So would Quil._ She buried her face in her pillow, then decided that she needed some tea, and dug it out again.

She came into the kitchen, face still flushed, and put a mug of water into the microwave.

"Something wrong?" asked Sue.

"No."

"Oh no. What did Sam do now?"

"My life doesn't revolve around Sam anymore, you know."

"Well what did Jacob do?"

Leah pulled her cup from the microwave and plopped a tea bag into it. Luckily, the phone chose that moment to ring.

She rushed to get it, leaving the tea on the counter. "Hello?" she said.

"Leah..." Emily's voice sounded disappointed.

"Hey Em, how are you? I've been worried."

"I'm fine actually. Supposedly the scars won't be too hideous."

"That's great."

"Listen, I...I need to tell you something."

Leah's blood, at first congealed, turned to water inside her. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" she asked.

"I...no, you're not."

"What happened?" Her hand was shaking.

"I...I kissed Sam."

The room shook, and Leah leaned against the wall to steady herself. "You kissed him?" she asked. "Not the other way around?"

"Yes." Emily was breathing hard.

Leah's grip tightened on the phone. "And you wanted to?"

"I did."

Leah's heart pounded as though she were running a race. "How did that happen?" she could not keep the pain out of her voice."

"I just..." Emily started crying. "We talked for hours last night, and..."

_Stop it! Stop it, make it stop!_ Leah hung up the phone.

Sue looked in from the kitchen. "What happened?" she asked.

Leah turned, without answering and went into her room. She locked the door behind her and drifted to her bed. It came up and smacked her playfully in the face. She realized that her breathing had tightened, and she dragged her arms out from under her chest to rest at her sides. _I'm nineteen. I'm too old for this._ She growled, and her low snarl grew into an echoing roar.

Frantically she popped her Bon Jovi CD into the player and inserted her headphones. She lost herself in the song as quickly as she could. Treachery was easier to take with a famous band dictating her thoughts.


	6. Fire Hazard

"Yoohoo" called Embry, as he and Quil came through the woods. Leah looked through her window. The boys were coming in quickly.

"Hey, assholes" she called.

They stopped outside her window. "How's it going?" asked Embry.

"My cat ate my dog and then ran off with the gardener. How about you?"

Quil laughed and pulled a joint out of his pocket. "I'm doing dandy" he said.

Leah did not smile as she climbed onto her window sill and hopped outside. "What have you got for me?" she asked.

"More junk, as usual."

"Cool."

The three headed out back; Leah never smoked indoors. She didn't mind the smell anymore, but she didn't want her parents to know, much less Seth.

"So, I guess Jacob wasn't in the mood today?" she asked.

Quil chuckled. "He told us yesterday that we'd better keep our asses away from his place today."

"Yeah," said Embry, "he's got a lady friend over today."

"Really?" Leah smirked. She sat down in a lawn chair her family kept in the car port they used as a storage shed. "Finally over Bella Swan, is he?"

For some reason that made the boys hoot and holler with laughter.

"It _is_ Bella Swan" said Quil.

Leah groaned at the memory of the girl's misty eyes, and the touch of her cold clammy skin in the pool at her dad's fishing spot. She put out a hand, and Quil gave her what she wanted. "How did he manage that?" she asked, as Embry lit it for her.

"I don't know," said Quil, "but manage he did. Somehow."

Leah puffed and let the sweet poison seep into her. "I thought she was dead on her feet. In fact, I know she was. I saw it."

"Well we didn't" said Embry. "She was at his place yesterday, and she seemed perfectly lively to me. Maybe Jake just has that affect on people. Or maybe it's just her."

Quil found that amusing, but Leah didn't. She let out another draw and sighed. "I don't know what she's doing there. My dad is over at Chief's place now, watching the game. So's Billy."

"Then I think it's obvious what they're doing" laughed Embry.

It was too much. Leah wanted to lash out at them; it was too easy. "Quil and Embry..." she mused. "You two have to admit, you do have pretty weird names."

If they had not been high, the boys probably would have attacked her, but as it was they were content to seethe.

"No need to be mean" said Quil.

"Although," said Embry, "she does have a point. I mean everyone else on the reservation has a bible name except us two. Why do our parents hate us?"

Leah shrugged. "Queer names for queer folk I suppose."

Quil growled. "We are not queer" he said.

"Do I look like I'd care?" Leah snorted.

It did not appease him. "Leah," he said, "I've been bringing you a joint now and again for more than three months. How about if you suck my dick?"

"I don't know, how about if you kiss my ass?"

"Look here," Quil, who had been seated on a piece of planking beside Embry, righted himself and made to stand up.

Four months of fury suddenly boiled up in Leah, and her foot shot out to kick him in the face. He tumbled backward, rolling in the dirt.

"Woah," said Embry, "take it easy girl. You need to calm down."

Quil's breath came in long, furious heaves. His eyes were the picture of wrath.

"Quil, come on man, let's go." Embry picked his friend up off the ground. "Let's get going."

Quil looked back at Leah as Embry pulled him away. "Quit being such a bitch, Leah" he said.

She smirked. "You've got blood on your teeth" she said.

After they had gone, she sat and smoked for another hour or so. Quil would probably forgive her, in time. _Maybe. Or he might hold it against me forever. He'll stop bringing me joints._

Leah reflected on her life. It was something she couldn't do without the marijuana.

She lived in a world with vampires, and that didn't seem to matter. Her cousin, her sister really, had betrayed her in a way she hadn't thought possible. _Now I'm the villain, for some reason._ Her parents seemed genuinely happy for Sam and Emily. It was impossible not to hear how well their relationship was going. All their mutual friends talked about it.

_Almost as well as _ours_ went. Maybe I should have sucked Quil's dick. It would have been nice to touch a man again. No, on second thought I don't think so. That would be gross."_

The house door opened, and she flicked her joint into the woods. On the Olympic Peninsula, it wouldn't be a fire hazard.

"Leah" called Seth, coming toward her.

_Shit._ She blasted the smoke out through her nose.

"Leah, we're all going over to Billy's place for supper. Do you smell smoke?"

Leah laughed as she stood up. "Smoke, out here?" Then his words sunk in. "Mr. Black's place?" she asked. _Where Jake's screwing that head-case?_ "What's the occasion?"

He laughed. "Apparently Bella's there" he said. "When Billy called, he said she's been recovering lately."

"Yeah, I guess so." _Getting laid will do that to a girl. Just wait 'til he dumps her. She'll be worse than _before. "Well, have fun" she said.

"What are you talking about? We're all going."

Leah groaned, opening the door. "I'd have to take a shower, and change my clothes."

"Well maybe you should get started then."

"Foot down" Leah insisted, demonstrating on the hard-wood floor. "I'm not going."

Sue came out into the kitchen then. "Of course you are" she said. "You can be as rude as you want to be to us, but you will not make Billy feel unwanted. Besides, don't you like Jacob?"

Leah groaned. "Jake is a punk" she said.

"Then you two should get on fine."

"I do _not_ like Bella, though."

"Well no one is saying that you have to talk to her. Just come along, so people can see you, and know you're still alive."

"Seeing me standing up won't tell them anything. I'm a mess."

"How about the shower you were talking about?" said Seth, helpfully.


	7. Ragoo

Charlie felt better than he had in months. His daughter had learned to laugh again, somehow. The Cullens were long enough gone that he could talk to Billy again, without drawing ire, and his team had won the game. The last two in the list were entirely secondary, and quickly faded into obscurity as he heard Bella and Jacob laughing as they ran through the woods together from the Black family garage.

When they arrived, it became obvious that they were holding hands. They didn't let go.

"Hey dad" said Bella and Jacob at once.

Charlie's sense of wonder did not abate as he let a smile creep onto his face. "Hi honey" he said.

With his free hand, Jacob waved to Seth Clearwater, who stood on the back porch.

"Bella," Charlie said, surprised to hear a spark of happiness in his own voice, "Billy invited us for dinner."

Billy, in the back doorway, affected a grave countenance. "My super secret recipe for spaghetti. Handed down for generations," he said. Then he winked.

Jacob snorted. "I don't think Ragu's actually been around that long."

Bella, already smiling, allowed her grin to widen. "Thank you Billy, that's very kind" she said.

Harry was almost as excited as Charlie was to see her having fun. "You gave us quite a scare on that one fishing trip, as I recall" he said.

"I don't remember, but I guess I'm glad you do."

"Hey Jake" said Seth. "How's it going with the rabbit?"

"That's not going too bad" Jake said. "Since I got that one part I needed so bad last spring, it's been moving steadily. Slowly enough, but steady."

Harry's daughter never left the phone at first. Charlie thought she might be talking to the Call boy, but he couldn't be sure. She spoke softly, and did not volunteer much information.

Charlie put himself in the kitchen, while the others socialized in the tiny living room. He helped Billy with the spaghetti; he could reach the highest cupboards, which were out of reach to someone in a wheel chair.

"Bella seems really happy, for a change" he said, peering down the hall. She sat near Jacob, hips angled toward him, listening to the conversation the boys were having.

"Yeah, about that..." Billy lifted a wad of pasta out of the pot to see if it was ready.

Charlie looked at his friend sideways.

"Charlie, I honestly don't know what they're doing out there."

Charlie grinned. "Billy," he said, "I honestly don't care."

Billy cocked an eyebrow, the spaghetti lying forgotten beneath him.

Charlie sighed. "She's been dead on her feet since...since the day Sam had to bring her back. Yesterday I heard her laugh for the first time since then." He looked his friend in the eye. "I could let her do almost anything to get back on her feet. Anything except going back to the cocaine. If your boy makes her happy, I don't really care what they get up to."

Billy looked down at his work and nodded. "Alright then" he said. "I'll ask Jake if he needs any condoms."

They laughed.

The phone went onto the hook, and Leah came into the kitchen. Charlie pretended not to smell the pot on her. It always made him very sad when kids on the res went to drugs, especially if he knew them.

"How's the spaghetti?" she asked.

"It's fine" said Billy. "How's Embry?"

"Howling in pain. He's got some kind of bug." She frowned. "I saw him this morning. I hope I didn't catch it."

For some reason that seemed significant to Billy, but he hid it quickly. "Well," he said, "the sauce is almost ready."

"Leah," said Charlie, "I just wanted to thank you. I never got a chance to before..."

"All I did was jump into a pool. I've stayed under longer for fun. It was nothing." Annoyance showed in her eyes. Charlie usually wasn't very good at picking up emotions, but Leah was more blunt than some.

"Oh, well thanks anyhow."

"Leah," said Billy, "I don't suppose you could get something from the refrigerator for me? There's a bag of salad on the bottom shelf, and no pasta meal is complete without any."

Wordlessly, Leah opened the fridge and found what he described. She found a bowl in the cupboard, ripped the bag open, and poured it out.

"I think we may be ready" said Billy.


	8. Unwritten

The Ateara household was only slightly bigger than that of the Clearwaters. Leah smiled, smelling the weed as she approached the door. Quil's mom didn't care.

She knocked on the door, and Joy Ateara, Quil's mother, answered.

"Hey," she said, trying to smile, "Is Quil home?"

Joy nodded. "He's upset though."

"Could I come in?"

Joy stepped aside, and pushed the door open further.

"Thanks." Leah knew the way to Quil's room. She knocked hard on the door. "Hey, Quil?" she called. _No answer._ "Quil!" she shouted, and banged hard on the door. She tried the handle, but it was locked.

"I'm afraid he's sulking" said Joy. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Leah shook her head. "Thanks, but no. What's he so upset over?"

"His friend won't talk to him."

"Embry?"

"That's the one."

Leah nodded. "I talked to him a while ago. He had some nasty bug. I guess I'll go see if I can talk to him. Maybe bring him around."

Joy nodded. "I'd appreciate that" she said.

Outside the house again, Leah hugged her black leather jacket closer to herself. It was starting to drizzle.

An idea came to her, and rather than take the five minute walk home, she went around back of the house. Sure enough, Quil's window was open. She peered inside. He was lying on his bed, left arm covering his eyes, right hand holding a joint.

Noiselessly she hopped onto his sill. "Yo, asshole" she said.

He let his arm fall to his side and looked at her. "Do you mind?" he asked. "I'm trying to think, bitch."

She cocked her leg as though preparing to kick him in the face again. He moved. His enormous body seemed to fill the room. "Cut it out" he said.

"What's up? Embry's mom said he's better now. Why won't he talk to you?"

Quil glared at her.

"What? What did you do to him?"

"Nothing, damn it."

"Well something, obviously."

"Leah, go harp on someone else."

Leah made a show of pouting. "Oh, don't be like that" she said. "How about this? I suck your dick for a joint. I know you wanted me to earlier."

"I said shove off!"

Leah's eyes narrowed. She dropped into his room. "Quil," she said, "talk to me."

"Like you want to hear" he said.

"I sure as hell am curious."

He glared at the floor. "Embry's hanging out with Sam."

_Danger, danger, danger._ Leah sank to sit on the bedside. "He what?"

Quil sat on his floor and took a puff on his joint. "Just what I said. He's got new friends, and suddenly I'm not good enough for him any more. Jake's all I've got left now. That and some bitch who only likes me because I give her weed."

She threw his pillow at him. "You'll always have this" she said, stung.

It hit his head and flopped to the floor. "Yeah, how comforting." He sighed, long and loud. "Now Jake is sick" he said.

Leah raised her eyebrows. "Really?" she asked. "I hope it's something terrible."

"It is...I think it's what Embry had."

Leah seethed, with her eyes open wide. Quil's smoke was getting to her. "You mean right before..."

"Last thing we knew about him. Billy won't let me in the house." He looked at her sideways. "The same thing they all had before they started hanging out with him."

Ice flowed under Leah's skin, and for a moment time itself seemed to freeze as she listened to her heartbeat.

She shook her head, attempting to rid it of the fear inside. "Ok, I need a joint" she said.

Quil pulled a roll out of his pocket, and shoved it under his pants.

Leah got onto the floor next to him and unzipped his fly. His dick was bulging against his boxers. She got it out through the slit, and the joint came out with it.

She wrapped her hand around him and started rubbing. He sighed and smiled.

She leaned down and kissed it. It was already very firm. It also smelled like sweat.

"Don't you ever take a bath?" she asked, without taking her head away.

"Not often, no."

"Figures." She took him in, and slid down until her nose scrunched against his jeans. He tasted worse than he smelled.

"Oh, that's good," he said.

_At least Sam was usually clean_ she thought. _Then again, if he hadn't been...I don't think I could do this now._ She slid off and looked up at Quil. "Keep smoking" she said.

He frowned. "Why?" he asked.

"Because I said so, dumb ass."

He shrugged and took a puff as she went down again.

When it was done, she put the joint in her pocket, and went to the bathroom to wash her mouth out. Joy did not seem remotely surprised to see her again as they passed in the hall.

In the bathroom, she put a finger in her throat, pushed hard on her stomach, and heaved Quil's essence into the toilet. She rinsed her mouth with hot water from the faucet, and spat it into the sink. The taste was still there.

She went back into his room. "Got a light?" she asked.

He offered one, and she puffed until it took.

"Thanks," he said, "I needed that."

"You're welcome," she mumbled around the roll in her mouth, "I needed this."

The room, already hazy, began to fill with smoke as the two huffed out their troubles into it.

Finally, probably hours later, Leah sighed and got to her feet. Their joints were long gone, but the feeling lingered. "I should go" she said.

"Wait," said Quil, reaching under his bed. He pulled out an old shoe box. "Take this" he said.

Leah frowned and lifted the lid. "All of it?" she asked.

"You earned it. And also...also I thought I might try quitting."

Her eyebrows rose. "Quitting?" she asked.

"Yeah. I mean...I think I may need to. Before I can't"

That brought a frown to her face. "Then keep a couple so you can ween yourself off, ok?"

"Yeah" he nodded, looking at the floor. "I guess you probably won't want me around anymore, if I'm not giving you this shit" he said.

The taste of his dick came back into her mouth, and her gorge rose. "Probably" she agreed.

Leah was reaching for the tea, when she decided to go for coffee instead. She needed something with a stronger taste than what she had just come from.

The marijuana was stashed under her bed, and she had work to do.

She sat and jammed to an inaudible beat as water ran through the coffee maker. When there was enough for a cup, she poured it into her mug and carried the prize into her room.

She put the cup on the nightstand and lay on her bed. She turned on her CD player and pretended to do her homework.

The family car pulled in, and she looked out. Her parents were back. She turned off the music and went to meet them. Only then did she realize that it was almost five in the afternoon.

"Leah, are you going somewhere?" asked her mother.

She looked down, and found that she had not taken her jacket off. She took the moment to do so and hang it up by the door. "Where were you?" she asked. "You weren't here when I got back."

Harry groaned. "I had a doctor appointment" he said. "I give them an inch, just the one inch mind you, and they walk all over me. Trying to tell me I've got a heart problem. Maybe they'd like a look at my liver next."

Leah groaned. "Whatever, just don't die or anything."

"I'll be fine" he promised.

"Good." She went back to her room. Her coffee was done, and most of her homework still wasn't. She was in danger of falling asleep when the phone rang. She rolled over to listen as her father picked it up.

"Hey Charlie" she heard him say.

She stared at the ceiling as her father explained everything that had happened during his time at the hospital. She could feel the origins of a bad headache inside her. Her CD player had cycled all the way through Natasha Beddingfield's Unwritten, and was beginning again.

Then the conversation turned to Jacob Black, and Leah stopped the player. She raised her head and held very still.

_Mono,_ she snorted. _Right, I don't think so. More like _Bud Asshole's Disease_. Next thing I know he'll be hanging out with the support group. Maybe it makes your balls fall off, and that's why it only affects boys._

As the phone conversation wrapped up, she shoved her homework onto the floor. _This can be slept on,_ she decided.


	9. Head in the Game

Suddenly, the world had color.

Of course, it always had, but Jacob had never seen it before.

That was ironic, seeing as most canines were color blind, according to the stereotype.

He breezed through the forest as though her were flying, leaping gorges without a thought. The wind whistled through his hair. Thinking of himself tripping over his own feet not long ago almost made him laugh. He would have laughed, in his human form.

Embry grinned, running beside him. It felt so good to run with his friend again. To _really_ run with him for the first time. He could think of no one with whom he would rather share the experience.

_'Well...maybe just the one. And I do wish Quil were here.'_

The wolves crashed through the woods with a great din, but left hardly a leaf displaced for their passing. They came to a steep bank, and a deep pool. Sam knew the place. '_Harry Clearwater's fishing spot.'_

Jacob came up short, but Embry barreled right in. _'Cannon ball'_ he shouted, and phased just as gravity caught hold of him. He grasped his knees and hit the water with his bare buttocks first.

Jake followed his example, grinning profusely.

The water was cold and black, reflecting only small spots of light from between the trees. The impact should have stung, but it didn't.

A fish darted away as he entered the pool, slipping into the current down-stream.

The other boys landed in the pool with three quick splashes. Everyone was laughing.

"Isn't it great?" said Embry.

"You have no idea" said Jacob.

"Actually, I do. We all know exactly how you felt."

The levity did not completely leave them as they washed away the traces of their exertion, though they did calm down a bit.

"So..." said Jacob, "vampires?"

"Very frightening" said Jarred.

"But easy to kill, in a group" said Embry.

"The Cullens are chiefly responsible for everyone here" said Sam. The others deferred to him by nature. "Our young get a whiff of them, and the change is set in motion. But it doesn't continue unless there's a need. So now we keep shifting, even though they're gone."

Jacob nodded. "Because of the one who's been running loose around here" he said.

The others nodded.

Sam's deep voice was more enthusiastic than usual. "We chase him pretty much every night" he said. "But we're always a few steps behind him. I think he knows we're after him, but...not what we are per-say."

"So how are we going to catch him?"

"I don't know. Maybe if we spread out over the res, we'll be more likely to find him up close. We'll be able to hear each-others thoughts, so we'll all know who finds him and where. After all, now there are enough of us to spread out properly. We could run until we catch a fresh scent."

That seemed like a popular idea.

When they were all feeling clean, they phased again, and five wet wolves left the pool.

_'So...the ink?'_ Jacob thought, still running.

Embry came to his rescue. _'Tribal symbol. You can see the shapes of two wolves in it, if you're looking for them. It's kind of like a pack banner.'_

_'Who wants ice cream?'_ asked Paul, _'you're driving me nuts.'_

Jacob realized that his was the gurgling stomach. He had barely eaten in three days.

_'We should get something to eat'_ thought Sam. _'We always need our strength.'_

Jacob whined. _'Do we go home and get dressed, or just show up naked?'_

_'Neither,'_ joked Paul, _'we just go to the shop and look cute. People practically throw food at us.'_

_'Yeah,'_ thought Embry, _'especially rotten fruit.'_

Days passed in quiet contentment. Only two sore spots remained in Jacob's life; Quil and Bella. He missed them both terribly. Especially Bella. Mostly Bella. She had a nice smell, in addition to being all things Jake wanted.

_'And that blood-sucker was all over her.'_

She called often. Billy occasionally disconnected the phone line so that it wouldn't bother him anymore. Jacob often went to bed wishing only to pick up the phone and return those damned calls...when he went to bed at all that was. Most nights he was out with Sam, tracking the scent that burned his nose.

On Saturday, the boys were headed to the fishing hole again, as they often did, when they caught a fresh whiff of Harry Clearwater and Charlie Swan.

_'We'd better skirt around them'_ thought Sam. _'Chief Swan is about the last person we need to be seen by.'_

_'Whatever'_ Jake grumbled. He'd had an argument with Sam that morning, and it still stung. Sam would never see reason where Bella was concerned. Only the pack's privacy mattered to him.

With a hop, a skip and a jump they were in the clear again, running freely through the forest. In no time they had left the fishing hole far behind.

Then Embry stopped suddenly and doubled back to check himself.

_'Guys!'_ he shouted, but they had smelled it too, through his nose. They rounded as one and returned to investigate. Sure enough, it was the scent of the lone vampire who had menaced them for so long. The scent was fresh.

Their course altered, they ran for about half an hour, feeling it grow more and more fresh under their noses.

_'This is where I've been hiking with Bella, looking for that spot she mentioned.'_

Then, suddenly, there was Bella herself, directly in their way. The wolves reigned in tightly, desperate not to be seen by human eyes.

She was crying. She had found the meadow.

The La Push gang slithered into the shadows, grateful to maintain their secrecy.

_'Do you think we can get around her?'_ asked Sam.

_'Probably,' _Jacob answered. Every part of him wanted to go into the glade and gather Bella into his arms.

_'Quit that!'_ said Sam.

Just then, Bella looked up, and the wolves tensed, but she wasn't looking at them.

She stood, a puzzled expression on her face, then began walking forward.

Jacob looked where she was looking, and his hair stood on end. It was the vampire. _'Is she friends with every sucker who comes through here?'_ he wondered.

_'And you wanted to tell her the truth'_ thought Sam.

"Laurent" said Bella, running toward him.

The Lapush gang silently followed, heads down, hoping that the vampire would not force them to attack it with Bella there.

The girl and the vampire stopped about ten feet from each-other.

"Bella?" he asked, astonishment written on his dark handsome face.

"You remember." She smiled.

He grinned. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"You didn't expect me? Really? I'm the one who lives here, you know. I thought you'd be in Alaska."

Jacob settled into the pine needles on the forest floor, hackles raised. _'Come on Bella, make him leave.'_

_'He's going to drink her.'_

_'Who said that?'_

"You're right," said the vampire Laurent, "I did go to Alaska. But still, I didn't expect...when I found the Cullen place empty, I thought they'd moved on."

"Oh" said Bella.

_'Don't you say that name to her, she hates hearing it.'_

_'You've got it bad, bro.'_

"They did move on" she continued.

"Hmm," he murmured, "I'm surprised they left you behind. Weren't you sort of a pet of theirs?"

"Something like that."

The vampire hmm'd again.

Bella stepped back.

_'Uh oh.'_

"Do they visit often?" asked Laurent.

_'Lie! Lie, damn it!.'_

"Now and again. The time seems longer to me, I imagine. You know how they get distracted..."

"Hmm, the house smelled like it had been vacant for a while."

"Charlisle typically only stays long enough to make sure I'm ok and then moves on. I don't see Emmet or Rosalee very often. Alice comes occasionally, but Jasper is still embarrassed about the party. Edward, as you might imagine, is the only one who spends much time up here, but even he doesn't spend as much as I'd like. He thinks he's protecting me by staying away." Her voice gave the lie to her words.

"Is he?" Laurent stepped toward her.

"Well, I'm guessing that the whole 'animal diet' thing hasn't worked out too well for you, so...I would feel a lot more confident if he were here. But maybe it's for the best; he's still a little touchy about the whole James thing."

"Is he really?

"Mm-hmm. So...how are things in Denali? I've never met Tanya, what's she like?" Her voice was high. She was slipping.

"I like Tanya quite a lot" he said. "I like her sister Irina even better. I've never stayed in one place for so long before, and I enjoyed their setup; the advantages and the novelty of it. But then...there are the restrictions."

"You cheat, don't you?"

"Occasionally."

"Jasper has problems with that too."

"Really? Did he try to sample you at the party you mentioned? Is that why they left?"

"Yes, but...no...they could have gotten past it. Jasper was mortified, of course, but it was more the fear that something along those lines might happen again." She was talking too fast. "Jasper is much more careful at home."

"I'd bet" said Laurent. "So am I."

"Did Victoria ever find you?"

"Yes," he said, hesitating in his step, "I actually came here as a favor to her." He made a face. "She won't be happy about this."

"About what?" Bella's voice cracked.

"About me killing you," he answered seductively.

Bella stepped back. Her face was as white as a sheet.

"She wanted to save that part for herself;" Laurent purred, "she's sort of...put out with you, Bella."

"Me?" she squeaked. She was going to cry again. It seemed a natural thing to do.

He shook his head and chuckled. "I know, it seems a little backward to me too. But James was her mate, and your Edward killed him. She thought it more appropriate to kill you than Edward—fair turnabout, mate for mate."

"Turn me." Bella's voice was desperate.

Laurent stopped, staring. Then he grinned, until his smile became a loud, low laugh. "Turn you?" he asked. "Bella, you're too funny."

"I'm serious" she said, foolishly walking closer to him. "You said you had never met anyone like James, right? Well Edward killed him, for me. If you kill me here, and if Victoria doesn't rip you to shreds for doing it, he will come back for revenge. He and his family will run you into the ground, and they can do it too. You know they can."

"But they left you. Bella, I'm not sure they care about you anymore."

"They left me to protect me from themselves. It was stupid of them, but that's not the point. The point is that if you turn me, Victoria can't touch me, they won't be tempted to hurt me any more, and you will only incur Edward's wrath whereas the others will be happy to see you again."

He was beginning to consider it.

Sam was furious.

"Besides," Bella added, "you were going to bite me anyway. Just...leave me with a pulse. That's all I ask; pull yourself back and leave enough blood in me for a heartbeat."

Jacob tensed as Laurent thought for a long moment. Bella looked ashen, trading between ecstatic anticipation and mortified fear.

"I'm sorry," said Laurent at last. "Your plan has merit, but it is not fool proof. I would need to hide you from Victoria for three days, and if she caught up with me...I am no match for her, I fear."

Bella backed away again, all hope gone from her eyes.

"It was a good plan" said the vampire, taking a step of his own. Then his head whipped up, and he looked straight at the wolves. "What the...?" he breathed.

Jacob realized that he was growling.

Laurent began to back away. "I don't believe it" he said in a low voice.

Then Sam slid into the clearing, chest low, with a growl in his throat. His pack fanned out behind him in V formation.

Jacob came close enough to Bella to touch her. _'You're safe now'_ he thought.

'Black, keep your head in the game.'


	10. Reflection

Bella wept as she left the Blacks' house. She hadn't meant to cry. It shouldn't hurt so much, but it did.

The road started blurring by. _I shouldn't have tried so hard,_ she thought.

Her truck started to slow. She stepped on the gas. It slowed more. _Out of gas. Great._ She let it coast as far as it would, remembering that the reservation's one store had a gas pump out front. She had seen it that morning when she dropped Quil off.

The truck brought her to rest outside a house she vaguely remembered belonging to Harry Clearwater.

She cut the engine, and hopped out. She trudged over the wet dirt, and up onto the porch. She didn't see a doorbell, so she knocked on the door instead.

After a few seconds, it opened and Seth Clearwater appeared. His face lit up at the sight of her. "Hey Bella," he said, "what brings you here?"

She moved so he could see her truck. "Out of gas" she said.

"Aw man, that sucks" said Seth. "The store has some gas, but it's a ways down there."

"Yeah, I wondered if I might use your telephone."

"Or my sister can drive you. It's not far. Have you got a gas can?"

"Uh...no. No, I don't think I do."

"Well I think we do. Come on in. Can I get you some soda or something?"

Bella accepted his invitation. She sat down at the table when he offered her a chair. "That would be great. So can I call my dad?"

Seth unhooked the phone and brought it over to her.

"Thanks" she said, and punched in her home number.

Seth set a root beer on the table.

Charlie picked up the phone. "Hello?" he said.

"Hey, Dad, it's me, Bella."

"Bells, Billy just called and said you were on the way home."

"He couldn't have known I'd run out of gas though."

"Oh?"

"I'm at the Clearwaters' house. I'll find some way to get to the store and bring some gas back for the truck, but I wanted you to know I'd be late."

"Oh, ok honey."

"Bye Dad."

"By Bella."

She hung up, and opened the soda. "So Seth," she said, "exactly how close is the store from here?"

"About five minutes walking, less if you run. If you want, I could run down and get a gallon or something right now."

Bella smiled. "I'd as soon fetch it myself, but I'd love to use your gas can" she said.

A door opened in the hall, and Leah poked her head out. She glared at Bella.

"Um...hello, Leah." Bella waved.

"You...of all people, you." It was not the friendliest greeting she had received. It was not the most hostile either. Leah left the doorway, entering the kitchen. She was dressed in sweat pants and a light tan-colored top. She looked terrible. "If it isn't old Deadeyes."

"Um...hello to you too."

Leah stepped closer. She smelled like pot. "Not so much now though" she said. "I guess Jacob must have screwed something back into you."

Seth frowned.

"Seth, go get some gas for Bella" Leah said, forking over a five dollar bill.

"Ok" he said dejectedly, and headed for the door. "Bye Bella" he called.

"He'll be right back" said Leah.

"So, um..." Bella hesitated. "Pot?"

Leah squinted at her, then made a show of looking up at the counter. "What pot?" she asked.

"The pot I smell all over you."

Leah put her head down, lifted her arm and smelled. Her pit looked like it was covered in animal fur. "Damn" she said. "Shit doesn't wash out, does it?"

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Did you see Jacob today?"

"Yes."

"How's he doing?"

"He looks...healthy I guess. Whole new growth spurt. Hard to believe he used to be my height."

Leah snorted, sitting across from Bella. "Tell me about it. They grow up so tall around here. Did he say what's up?"

"No. Sam Uley has decided that I can't be friends with him anymore." Bella's eyes stung threateningly. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a spare joint, would you?" she asked.

Leah glared at her. "Come back some other time" she said. "And don't tell Chief."

"Ok. Is there a reason why you're staring at me like that?"

"It's Uley. I don't like him."

"Me either. Why does that make you hate me?"

"You said his name. It always jumps me, a little bit."

Bella's eyes grew wide. "You dated him?" she asked.

Leah growled, and got up to find a soda for herself. When she had one, she sat down again and cracked it open. "I loved him" she said, before drawing in a long draft of the stingy drink.

Shock flooded through Bella. "And I thought I had it bad" she said.

For some reason that made Leah chuckle. "Woman, you were in deep shit. I am the way I am because I wouldn't let that happen to me. You...you just let yourself go for a while there. Death warmed over."

"And yet here I am."

"You're a little cleaner than I am, and you smell nicer. But I never needed help. I got back on my feet on my own."

"But you still don't look much better than I do. I think you're hurting too."

"Not as much as you did. And now the man who took everything from me has taken it from you too. Am I going to need to pull you out of another stream?"

"What?"

"Don't you remember? Not long after my ex found you in the woods, my dad and I went fishing with you and yours."

"I don't remember anything about that."

Leah sighed. "Well lucky you" she said. "All that happened was you fell in and were about to let yourself drown. I pulled you out. You looked so miserable, I wished I hadn't."

"I was...I was already a little bit dead at the time." Bella felt the numbness threatening to encroach on her again, for the first time since Port Angeles. _It was bad enough losing...Edward...but now Jacob too? And Leah wishes I had drowned._ It was a choice between returning to the numbness, or enduring the pain. Making up her mind quickly, Bella decided to sit through the tears. She could not do that to Charlie, or it would be even worse when she inevitably resurfaced again. "Thank you" she said. Her voice broke, and tears came out.

"No need to thank me. Just start living for yourself for a change. Your selflessness makes you into kind of a bitch."

Silence ensued.

"Are you sure you don't have a spare joint?" Bella asked. "I could really use a fix right now."

Leah raised an eyebrow. "That's why you're up here, isn't it?" she asked. "You had a problem back in Phoenix."

Bella looked down. "Yeah" she said. "Crack."

Leah laughed. "And you've been trying to replace it ever since, haven't you?"

Bella nodded. "First it was...it was...well, a boyfriend..."

"Never works."

"It didn't. It wasn't enough just to spend time with him, I missed my stuff."

"So you started sleeping together?"

Bella looked down. "...Yes, we did. It worked for a while, but then...his dad got that job, and..." Bella's voice was no longer reliable. It was as though the first, and greater hole in her chest was growing.

"Work it out Bella. It'll stay a problem until you tell someone."

Bella nodded. She would. There were even a few things she could tell to Leah.

"But don't tell me, tell your dad, or someone else who cares."

"Oh...ok." Fresh pain washed over her. Leah reminded her of Lauren, the heartless two-face who had practically never been kind to her. Or Rosalie, who was openly hostile. "Can I ask you something?"

Leah smirked and yawned before answering. "I don't promise to answer" she said.

"Why do you do this to people?"

"Do what exactly?"

Bella wanted to stop, to cut the conversation short and sever the connection forever. She never wanted to see Leah again...but something made her keep going.

"You...you kind of bite people."

Leah stared. Then she grinned. At last she laughed aloud. "Don't step on a snake if you don't want to get bit" she said. Her voice still echoed laughter.

"I didn't try to step on you. I'm sorry."

"You're right, you didn't. Maybe I used the wrong illustration." Leah's grin had left, but a ghost of it lingered. She scratched behind her ear, and Bella was uncomfortably aware of her smell. "It's more like a dog, really" she said. "They don't remember what you said, they can't. They don't understand us. But they will always remember how you made them feel. If you're always nice to them, they'll get used to it, and suddenly it only matters when you're mean." She sighed, staring over Bella's shoulder. "The next time I tell someone I love them, it will mean something to them."

Bella shivered. "And I made you wish I had drowned?"

"You did." Leah leaned back in her chair. "And here we are."

Bella ground her teeth, feeling angry tears wet her cheeks. It wasn't fair to blame her for an offense she had scarcely been conscious for. "Why did it make you hate me so much?" she asked.

"Because, Bella, I can't stand being around anyone who doesn't make me feel like keeping fighting and moving forward. Anything less just helps me fall back, and slide toward depression. When I looked into your eyes...I just wanted to stay there and drown us both."

Bella's eyes were far away, but her voice was close as she spoke. "The numbness...it was like I was dead or something. But I wasn't; I was very much alive. Dormant, you might say, putting the pain on hold until I could deal with it again. Maybe you thought I had given up. But now I have a life again, sort of. I've been clean for more than a year, and I'm coping with my loss. Which of us should be counseling the other?"

Leah's deepened. They both knew that Bella was right. "Feel free to wait in your truck" she said, sullenly.


	11. Living on a Prayer

_Thursday. Nothing special happening then._ Leah hoisted the covers up over herself again. Spring break was a terrible time. School kept her occupied, and its absence was a deep dark void.

Bird song drifted in through the walls. _Shut up,_ she thought. It persisted.

Groaning, she shifted off the mattress. She had slept in her clothes. _This feels like a shower day,_ she decided. _After breakfast._

She was the first one up, it seemed. She rummaged in the fridge. They were out of milk, so cheerios were out of the question. Three eggs remained in the carton. She took it out, and set a skillet on the stove-top.

When the first two eggs were done, she set two plates on the counter, and scooped them onto one of them. When the third was finished, she put it on the second.

She downed her egg with a glass of water rather than the last of the orange juice.

Feeling ravenous, she set the last two slices of white bread in the toaster. _Looks like it's also gonna be a shopping day._

Leah yawned and leaned against the counter, staring into space. _What a mess._

Seth's door opened, and he plodded into he kitchen. As he got closer, he sniffed the air and his face began to show more color.

Leah picked up the plate with the two eggs on it and set it on the table.

"For me?" asked Seth.

"Yup. Eat up big boy, I already had mine."

Seth grinned as he sat down and tore into the make-shift omelet.

The toaster popped, and Leah buttered the bread quietly. She set one piece on Seth's plate, and kept the other for herself. She didn't bite it, however, until she had emptied the orange juice carton into a glass for him.

"You don't have to do this, you know" he said, a little uncomfortable at the attention.

"If I thought I had to, I'd find a way out of it. Drink up."

He nodded, smiling. "Thanks," he said again, "did you already get some?"

"Yes" she lied. After he started eating again, she got a root beer for herself. "Somebody needs to go shopping" she said.

Seth nodded. "Give me a list. I won't be gone long." He chuckled, swallowing. "I knew there had to be some reason why you were doing this" he said.

"Actually, I thought I might do it. I need to do something, or I'll go insane."

He frowned. "Can't you hang out with some friends?" he asked.

Leah shook her head. "That would require friends" she said. "Sam kind of has a monopoly on them. He and I don't mix any more."

Seth's frown deepened. "What about Quil?" he asked.

Leah sighed, and turned to look out the window. It would be a warm day, but it was sure to turn rainy before nightfall. "Quil and I...we have a few issues" she said.

"Well...maybe you should go sort them out."

A light snort, almost too soft to be audible, escaped from Leah as she thought of it. "Unlikely" she said, looking back at him. "It's complicated."

He shrugged. "We could go see a movie or something."

She shook her head. "We need to save every penny, if you're going to college" she said.

"Leah, we're both going to college."

"Not at this rate."

"We'll get jobs and scholarships, that's all. We'll change our stars. Leave this place far behind us."

"You will, maybe. I'm not headed anywhere in life."

Seth's face tightened, and a tear formed in his eye. "Leah, I've had enough of that" he said. "I'm sick of you talking yourself down all the time. You're even meaner to yourself than you are to other people." He scooted back his chair, leaving a scrap of toast on his plate. "Please," he said, rounding the table, "please just...stop it. It upsets me."

Leah frowned and closed her eyes, unwilling to meet his eyes. He stood only a yard away from her. "I'm broken, Seth" she said. "I thought I'd get better with time...and I have. But I won't be the same again. I may be mended, but I'll never be whole."

"You weren't complete to begin with. So what if you got dumped? So what if they betrayed you? You're still a person." He put his hands on her shoulders.

She grimaced. "Hands off the T-shirt, Seth."

He matched her expression, but complied, putting his hands into his shorts pockets. "You're a person, and you're worth fighting for" he said. "So fight, damn it!"

"I am fighting, every day."

"Well it might be time to switch tactics. I think you're losing."

"How do you figure?"

"For starters, you always smell like pot."

Leah gritted her teeth. "I hoped you didn't know the smell."

"I smelled the same thing on some guys at school."

"Go figure" Leah said, rolling her eyes. "Seth, it's too late for me. I'm never going to raise the roof on Broadway, or strut my stuff down a runway for big bucks. It's too late to be a big name scientist, or join a police force. The will is gone from me to do these things." She looked squarely into his eyes to make sure he listened. "But for you, it isn't too late yet" she said. "You still have a shot in the dark at anything you want to be. Set your mind to anything, and you've still got a prayer for it."

"I'll say one for you." Seth wept freely, unable to stop himself. "You're mean to everyone now, except me. Leah, if you love me, listen; live." His voice cracked. "Live, won't you?"

Unbidden, tears sprang to Leah's eyes as well, but she would not back down. "I only have one thing left to live for" she said, careful to keep her voice even.

Seth did not bother. "You can't just give everything good that you have to me, ok? You have to keep some for yourself."

"Or what?"

"Or you'll dry up," he said, shaking, "and I'll lose the person I care for most in this world."

Leah tried to speak, but her chest was too tight, and her cheeks were blazing under the tears. "Shut up, Seth" she croaked, and pressed him to herself. His shoulders convulsed as he wept, as did hers. Peering over his shoulder, through the haze created by the salty water, she saw that their parents had come to investigate the din. She looked down, wishing neither to make eye contact with them, nor to end the embrace.

At length, Harry and Sue Clearwater entered the room.

Seth pulled away from his sister, glaring at them. "Good morning" he said. Although his face was still wet with tears, he seemed to have regained his composure.

"Good morning" replied Harry.

"Mom," said Leah, her voice still tight, "we need some more of most everything. Milk, eggs, bread."

Sue nodded, and Harry brought out his wallet. He removed a ten dollar bill and handed it to Seth. "You heard your sister," he said, "hop to."

Seth scowled as he took it. "I won't be long" he said, heading for the door.

When it closed, Leah's parents rounded on her.

"I didn't want to say anything," said Sue, "I had hoped that you would stop on your own in time. But now we need to face facts; you haven't smelled clean in months. Even right after a shower, you always smell like marijuana."

"What about it?" Leah growled.

"We need to do something about it, that's what."

"I don't need to do anything."

Harry shook his head, and sat in a chair at the table. "Leah," he said, "you aren't doing yourself any favors."

"What? What am I going to do? If I quit, can I really go places? Can I be a CEO someplace? Oh, I know; I want to be president of the United States."

"That's enough" said Sue. "You have been a sullen mope ever since Sam's change."

"Don't say his name."

"Learn to hear it again. You're not dead yet."

"Damn straight I'm not. The dead feel no regret."

"That's right, and they are alone in that. I don't want to hear you say, ever again, that you're not going anywhere with your life."

"Mom, have you seen my life?"

"I have. You've driven off everyone who used to be your friend, just because they're also friends with Sam. You're always smoking when you think we're not looking. Leah, you're right; your life is a mess. But none of that is anything you couldn't help."

"What if I don't want help?"

"You're happy being miserable? You're content to let your life slip by you?"

Leah's malevolent frown released a low snarl as she spoke. "I am content to let death take me in its own time. I can die contentedly if I only know that I didn't run to it before my time, and I did everything I could for Seth. He's the only person who has never been cruel to me." She could feel herself calming down for what she would say next. She had to impart the thought she had put into it through her voice alone. "In fact, I want to transfer the money from my college fund into his."

Sue's expression, which had begun merely as one of concern and determination, turned momentarily into one of black fury. "You want to seal your own future? To condemn yourself to an impoverished existence because of some imagined sense of worthlessness?"

"I just want Seth to have a chance that would be wasted on me" Leah growled.

Harry cleared his throat. "Seth will have other responsibilities when he comes of age" he said. "You must look to your own future. We all must. It's hard to help you Leah, because you lash out at anyone who tries."

"I don't want help. If I need help, then I don't deserve it."

"That's it!" Sue shouted. Leah's blood boiled. "If you won't agree to clean up your act, I'll get Chief Swan to talk to you about it."

"Fuck you!" The anger that brought on the harsh words was a burning and wrenching force, born of fear and resentment.

Sue's eyes widened with shock. Then they narrowed in fury.

For a second, as though struck by thunder, Leah's vision went white. A moment later she processed the sound of the impact, and then the sting of the slap.

Her blood felt as though it could not be hotter. Her chest gripped down on her as though it would strangle the breath from her lungs, but despite the increased pressure her heart raced faster. Somewhere, cloth was shredding. A shriek of fury burst from her lips, and she pushed her mother to the floor with both her hands. Then, somehow, she was on all fours, snarling down at her, snapping the air inches from her face like a cobra in a pit.

Sue's face drained white, and she screamed in terror.

The sight of her mother in such fear flipped a switch in Leah's mind, and she stopped the ruckus. She became aware of a gasping noise, and looked to where her father sat in the chair. He looked very small there, gasping and clutching his heart.

Leah knew that she had gone too far. She backed away, freeing her mother, and tripped over her own feet.

"Leah!" Sue screamed.

She whined, lying on her side. For some reason a chair had shattered, and the pieces of ripped cloth on the floor could only have been parts of her clothing. Somehow she had ripped it off between the slap and her attack.

She struggled to a sitting position, feeling heavy and bulky. She could smell everything in the room; the eggs and the butter they had been fried in, the orange juice, the dust and the tears. Stronger were the scents of weed and fear. Terror permeated the room, washing off all three of them in waves.

Her father continued to gasp.

_'Heart attack'_ Leah thought. "Dad!" she tried to scream. It came out as an agonized gasp.

Harry toppled onto the aging linoleum of the kitchen floor, still clutching his chest, eyes still wide.

"Leah, calm down" her mother said. The fear in her voice did not help her case.

Leah tried again to point to her father's peril, but the noise that came out was a nauseous and animal-like cry.

Somehow it did the trick though, for Sue glanced over at her husband. "Harry!" she shrieked, and moved instantly to his side. She grasped him around the shoulders, and looked up again at her daughter.

Seeing the look in her eyes, Leah turned and raced toward the phone. She tripped again and went sprawling on her face. She didn't feel any pain at all.

She stood before the phone, and stretched out with both hands for the receiver. They were paws.

Leah backed away, but she could not outrun herself. She tripped for the third time, and rolled backward onto the family's couch. It broke.

_'Leah?'_

For the first time in a long time, Leah was glad to hear Sam Uley's voice. _'Sam!'_ she barked.

_'What the fuck? Why is it you?'_

_'You can go fuck yourself too, asshole, my dad is having a heart attack, and I'm hallucinating.'_ She looked around her, but he was nowhere to be found.

_'Hang on, I'll be right there.'_

Sue had come into the hall, and paused beside the telephone. "Leah, stay there" she ordered, reaching for the telephone.

It was impossible. Leah had righted herself before she knew what she was doing, and bounced back and forth on her front feet trying to see her father past her mother.

Sue frantically dialed the emergency number.

"Hello, this is 911, do you have an emergency?"

"My husband is having a heart attack."

"Could you please give me an address?"

Sue gave it, rushing the pronunciation so badly that she was forced to say it again.

After the phone-call had concluded, she hung up and faced her daughter. "Leah," she said, "I need you to calm down. They'll send an ambulance. All we can do now is wait. Please, Leah, I need you to become yourself again."

"What the Hell?" Seth's voice shouted from the doorway.

Leah shot forward to see him again. _'No, Seth, don't come in!'_ she shouted.

He didn't listen. His eyes were wide, and his face drained. He screamed, and then to Leah's horror he exploded in a flash of gray. His clothes were ripped from his body, and sprayed in every direction. He landed on the bag of groceries he had brought home. The cartons of milk and orange juice burst beneath his weight. His shape became that of a brown and gray wolf, though his size had grown larger than that of a pony.

_'Seth too now?'_ Sam's voice was incredulous.

_'Sam, what's happening?'_

_'Hang on.'_

Leah whined.

_'Leah?'_ Though her name came in Seth's voice, it was so clear it was as though she herself had spoken it; or thought it.

_'Seth!'_

_'What happened?'_

_'I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.'_

_'There's a wolf in the house, and it's huge!'_

Leah gritted her teeth. _'I think that's me'_ she said.

Same Uley, naked as on the day of his birth, stepped into Leah's range of view.

"Oh, Sam," said Sue, "thank goodness you're here. Take the kids and get them out of here. The ambulance will be here any minute, and Seth and Leah can't be here when they arrive."

Sam nodded, and then he too exploded into the form of a wolf. _'Leah, Seth, follow me'_ he commanded, and led the way.

Leah came to Seth and nudged him with her nose. _'Get up'_ she said, and he did his best to comply.

Sam returned. _'Come on already!'_

Leah growled, but moved to obey. To do otherwise did not occur to her. Seth followed.


	12. Secret Agent

Alice could see Bella as plainly as if they had been standing close together. She took that as a bad sign. _Bella, what's happening?_

The girl swayed in the wind, her fragile human form yielding to its inexorable force. She stared out over the cliffs at the approaching hurricane. She was already soaked.

Then she closed her eyes, as she edged closer to the precipice. Recognition shot through Alice as the events unfolded. Her friend was going to jump.

Somewhere, Jasper's soft breathing kept Alice from spinning into a panic. He could tell that something was wrong, and he would help her through it when she resurfaced. That was calming enough, even without his gift.

His presence found stronger opposition as Bella's toes found the edge. _Don't do it, fool!_

"Yes?" Bella asked.

Alice wanted to close her eyes again, but they were already screwed tight. She could not see who she was talking to, nor had she heard anyone prompt the word, but curiosity could not get the better of Alice's fear. _What do you think you're doing?_

"You wanted me to be human, remember? Well, watch me."

Alice's silent heart complained as an icy grip clinched down on it. _This is still about Edward? I told him he was wrong. How stupid can he be? And Carlisle just went right along with it, of course._

Bella smiled, for some reason, before she continued speaking. Alice recognized the line from one of Shakespeare's sonnets. "Love is not love, which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove."

_I don't think a soliloquy is very likely to bring him back, Bella._

The world fell out from under Alice as Bella jumped from her spot on the edge.

If she had eaten recently, Alice would have disgorged a pool of blood on the Denali coven's floor, but as it was her revolted body settled for screaming at the top of its dead lungs, matching the shriek Bella gave as she fell, punching through the stormy air toward the black water hundreds of feet below.

She could feel Jasper's alarm beside her, and hear him trying to tell her something.

Feeling the vision shift and sputter as it died, she clenched her fists and plunged forward into the chaotic storm which was the future. _Are you going to come up again?_ She sifted through the eminent future, finding nothing. The ocean pounded on the shore for a few minutes, until even that disappeared into a black void. She had only seen that nothingness once before.

Frantically, Alice cast her inner eye to the home of the only other person whose future had ever disappeared before her eyes. The Clearwater estate would be empty for most of the day. The couch was in ruins. At last, Leah's mother would return, alone, and begin cleaning up the mess. She would have tears in her eyes.

_Shit!_

Jasper had wanted to go with her, but had at last yielded to superior reasoning. The last thing anyone needed was for him to be hungry near Charlie.

Alice clenched her fist again at the memory of what she had seen. "Bella, you idiot" she said.

The flight had been uneventful and gratingly slow, but for all that it was still faster than it would have been for her to run. She didn't think even Edward could outrun a jet.

The key was where it always had been, tucked under the eaves, and Alice had let herself in. She had no idea where Charlie would be; she had never seen the cliffs before her vision, and she wasn't sure he'd be at them anyway. Waiting in his house was the only way she knew to be sure of catching him, and he might not be back for hours.

Smelling humans on everything, Alice recalled how long it had been since she'd eaten anything. Looking into Charlie's future, she did not see herself biting him, but just to be sure she went to the refrigerator.

_Hmm, no beef._

Next she tried the freezer. It was filled with fish. She pawed through it until she found a whole one, and stuck it into the microwave. She hated fish blood, but it would be better than nothing.

Sitting down with her snack, Alice gave herself more time to look through Charlie's future.

_Oh, he's at the hospital. Maybe she's still alive._ She was in the process of deciding to go out and find him when another image came to her of a car pulling into the drive. It was not Charlie's cruiser, but it would definitely be at the house shortly. She tried to look at the driver's face, but could see nothing.

Hastily she drained the fish, wrinkling her nose as she did so, and hid the carcass under a paper plate in the trash can. She washed her hands, but the smell would not come off.

It was not long before she heard the sound of an engine in the driveway. She braced herself. Most likely, Charlie had hitched a ride back home for some reason. It might be thieves. Part of Alice hoped it was, but she found that unlikely.

_What am I going to say?_

Suddenly the engine roared to life, and wheels spun.

Alice cocked an eyebrow.

The breaks squealed, and she could hear voices arguing. One was infuriatingly familiar, but she could not place it. The other didn't sound much like Charlie.

Alice groaned as she waited.

Someone got out of the car, and came toward the house, while someone else drove angrily away.

The key scraped on the eaves, and went into the lock. It came out again when its holder realized that the door was already unlocked.

Light flooded the room as the door opened, and Alice caught her breath. The smell was one she knew well. It belonged to Bella. But Bella had not come out of the sea. The girl had had no future for hours. _Bella, how is it that you're alive?_

The girl tiptoed in, making a great deal of noise, and peering ahead of herself. She smelled of fear, but it was faint under the thick mildewy smell of sea-water.

"Victoria?" she called.

_Victoria?_ Alice grimaced. _Edward was supposed to find her and get rid of her._ It made sense for Bella to be so apprehensive if she thought there might be a killer in her house.

She put her hand to the wall and fumbled for the switch. She was several inches off.

Alice put out a hand and flipped the switch for her.

Bella blinked and cringed away from the shock as the light hit her, but then she opened her eyes wide as she caught sight of her friend.

"Alice, oh Alice!" She jumped into an embrace, clutching tighter than Alice had thought her capable of.

"Bella?" she asked. She had forgotten how good her friend smelled, and the affect was intensified by hunger. The fish had been a pitiful snack, and to her dismay had served only to whet her appetite.

Bella, likewise, could not seem to resist Alice's aroma. She drew in great long breaths through her nose. She was crying.

"I'm sorry..." she blubbered, "I'm just so happy to see you."

"It's ok Bella, everything's ok."

"Yes" she bawled, relaxing.

"I'd forgotten how exuberant you are" Alice sighed. She strained away from Bella, being careful not to breath. _You really do smell delicious, Bella._

Bella looked up at her, and realization struck her expressive face. "Oh" she said, releasing her. "Sorry."

"It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty, but I was in sort of a hurry today." He eyes narrowed. "Speaking of which, would you care to explain how you come to be alive?"

Bella's breath steadied, and realization flashed again across her face. She swallowed. "You saw me fall, didn't you?"

Repressed anger flooded Alice's eyes, and she could not keep it out of her voice. "Fall?" she asked. "I saw you _jump_. You quoted Shakespeare and shit. What were you thinking?"

Bella didn't answer. Alice could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to find the right words to tell her that she had made a failed attempt to kill herself.

She shook her head in disbelief. "I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me." She gave her best Edward impression. "'Bella promised. She's not going to do anything stupid. And don't be looking for her future either. We've done enough damage.'"

She sighed, putting two fingers to her temple. "But even if I'm not looking, sometimes I see things." She glared at Bella. "And I saw you deliberately attempting to bereave me of one of my few friends."

Bella's expression looked fit to cave in again, so Alice switched tactics. "Bella, I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, but I'm already so attuned to you that...you're one of the people my gift automatically updates me on." She looked away and gulped in a breath of air before continuing. "When I saw you jump, I didn't think about it, I just got to the airport as fast as I could. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do _nothing_. And then I got here, thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and you drive up." She shook her head, this time in confusion. She felt the strain on her voice as she spoke. "I saw you go into the water, and I waited for you to come up, but everything just went blank. What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do to him? And my brother? Do you have _any_ idea what Edward—"

"Alice, I wasn't committing suicide."

Alice eyed her dubiously. "You mean you didn't jump off a cliff?"

"Oh, I did, but..." Bella grimaced, "It was for recreational purposes only."

Alice's jaw clenched. "Recreation?" she asked.

"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving, and it looked like fun. And...I was bored."

Alice waited, pointedly.

"I wasn't expecting the currents to be so rough though. Actually, I didn't really think about the water at all.

_Whatever girl, you're a very poor liar._

"So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?"

Momentarily distracted, Alice cocked her head to the side.

Bella took the hint and kept talking. "It's true, I probably would have drowned, but Jacob jumped in after me. Actually, I think we can leave 'probably' alone; I would have. But he towed me back to shore and pulled me out.

Alice's frown deepened. "Someone pulled you out?"

"Yes, Jacob saved me."

_Why _didn't_ I see him then?_

_Maybe he came after the blackness._

_Maybe he _was_ the blackness._

_Does that mean he's dangerous?_

_But she's still alive. He saved her._

_I really hate fish._

_He lives on the reservation, just like Leah._

_I couldn't see her either._

_Maybe I just can't see Quileutes?_

_But I saw her that one day, when she helped me._

_Bella is staring at me._

_What's that smell?_

Alice leaned forward and intentionally brought in a whiff of the girl's odor. There was still the salty smell of the ocean, and the seductive smell of the girl's blood, but she had noticed something more; an intrusive and rotting scent like that of a wet dog.

The scents mixed suddenly with fear as Bella's human senses caught up with Alice's movements. Her heartbeat increased, having a vampire so close to her neck.

"Don't be absurd" Alice reassured her, sniffing again.

"What are you doing?"

"Who was with you out there just now? It sounded like you were arguing."

"Jacob Black. He's...sort of my best friend, I guess. At least, he was..."

Alice nodded. _That smell might be connected to why I can't see them._

"What?" asked Bella.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what it means."

"Well...at any rate, I'm not dead."

Alice rolled her eyes. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy. And if Victoria is on the loose—"

Bella's face drained. "You know about her?" she asked.

"You called her name when you came in."

"Oh right."

"So if the currents were too strong for you, how did Jacob manage?"

"Jacob is...strong." Bella tried to avoid the question, but failed.

Alice waited with eyebrows raised as Bella thought something through.

"See, well, he's...sort of a werewolf" she admitted in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?"

Alice gawked. If her heart had been beating, it probably would have skipped one.

"Well that explains the smell" she muttered as she got a hold on herself. "But does it explain what I didn't see?"

"The smell?" Bella sounded offended.

"You smell awful" Alice said, staring into the distance. She had never met a child of the moon before, but one of Carlisle's books pertained to them in brief. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?"

"Very sure" Bella said. Then she winced. "I guess you hadn't joined the family yet the last time there were werewolves in Forks."

"No, I hadn't found them yet." Alice was still lost in thought. Then her eyes widened as a thought came to her. In a panic she rounded on Bella, letting the shock show on her face. "This werewolf is your best friend?" she asked.

Bella nodded, sheepishly.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Well, he's only been a werewolf for a few weeks."

Alice groaned. "A _young_ werewolf then. Even worse. You certainly are a magnet for trouble."

"There's nothing wrong with werewolves."

"Until they get mad. You were supposed to be safe when the vampires left town."

"Tell that to Victoria. Jacob and his friends are what's been keeping me safe from her."

Alice stared at her.

Bella pointed at herself to clarify as she said "Danger magnet, remember?"

Alice groaned again. "Of course" she said. "Ok, how about if you start from the beginning and tell me everything."

Alice listened to Bella's even breathing. She was obviously asleep.

Cautiously and gracefully, she left the sofa and exited the house. Holding her phone carefully between her fingers, she punched in Charlisle's number. The phone rang several times before going to voice mail.

Alice sighed as she tried Jasper's phone. It had no reception.

_Let's see if Tanya has hers turned on._ She didn't.

Alice decided not to try Edward. He would be more likely to pick up, but still didn't know about the vision. Calling him out of the blue to say "Bella's fine" would surely read as "Bella accidentally got herself eaten by a pack of werewolves and then Victoria cleaned up what they missed."

Putting the phone back in her purse, Alice walked dejectedly back into the house. She settled herself back onto the couch, and watched Bella sleep.

Eventually she turned her head away, feeling like an intruder. _And Edward used to do it for fun. What a dumb-ass._

Alice picked up the remote control and switched on the flat-screen. Predictably, the volume had been left up, but she lowered it quickly, hitting the button as soon as the touch would count again.

She didn't actually care much about the news, and she found concentration difficult. She could predict what most of it would say before it showed.

She busied herself instead with attempting to predict the futures of various people on the Quileute reservation. She did not know many by name, but that did not keep her from seeking them out.

Some of them, she found, presented clear futures, but the farther forward she looked the more of them were eaten up by the unyielding blankness which appeared to be caused by the werewolves.

At long last, she heard Charlie getting out of bed. She switched the television off and settled into a more comfortable pose so that she could pretend to be asleep.

She held her pose as his clumsy human feet creaked down the stairs. Admittedly, he was much quieter than his daughter.

He paused for a moment, looking at them, before continuing into the kitchen. Alice noted a look in his eye which she rarely saw in anyone. He looked as though he might cry, but not out of sadness. Not out of happiness either though. Relief was more the word that came to mind.

Alice waited until she smelled the coffee before she allowed herself to wake up. Leaving the couch again, carefully so as to give off a human appearance, she tiptoed into the kitchen. In reality, she intentionally made more noise than she would have if she had been sneaking in earnest.

Charlie looked up as she entered. "Hey," he said, "are you a coffee drinker?"

Alice grinned, despite herself. _No, I'm a blood drinker._ "I find coffee to be excessively bitter, but today I think I'll make an exception" she said.

Charlie nodded. "Cream?"

"Yes please."

Charlie pulled a box of serial out of the cupboard. "Help yourself to anything in the refrigerator. In the _kitchen_ for that matter."

"I think I'll stick to coffee. Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me...tell me about Bella."

Charlie's expression fell into the sink as he leaned over it. "She's been better lately" he said. He launched into a mortifying tale of his daughter's despondency, and Alice listened with rapt attention. _Edward is such a dumb-ass,_ she thought. Charlie's sorrow tugged at her heart, making it want to beat again.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?" she realized that she had spaced out.

"I asked you...oh never mind."

"No, ask me. If it's important, I want to answer you."

Charlie stared at the floor. "Why hasn't Edward even tried to contact her? Not a phone-call, not an email, nor a letter in the mail. Why did he pull up the roots like that?" The pain in the police chief's eyes was deeper than that in his voice.

Alice breathed a long, sorrowful sigh. She couldn't tell him the truth. _But I can at least tell him something._

She looked up and knew that she had to.

"Charlie," she said, allowing her voice to warble, "I can't let you stay ignorant. But please understand that what I am about to tell you...divulging it could be considered treason."

Charlie blinked. "Divulge?" he asked, "Treason? Suddenly we're all legal and stuff."

Alice held his gaze without blinking.

"Alright," he said, "say I am curious enough to disregard that warning. Is it going to cause problems with the government?"

"Only if you breathe a word of it to anyone." A plan was coming to Alice. She knew which direction she would take it in.

"Ok, shoot."

She sighed and stared out the window. "Even now I'm only breaking protocol because the situation has turned out to be more dire than I was afraid. We had hoped that leaving Forks would keep Bella safe, but apparently we were wrong."

Charlie's eyebrows were high, and his eyes were wide. The fib was working.

"Charlisle, as you know, is not really our father. The fact is that we are all survivors of...well an experiment. It started as a cure for cancer, but then the scientists realized that it had other possibilities. Carlisle was the head scientist involved. Unwilling to try it on another human, he performed the...transformation, on himself."

"Transformation?"

"We've all been altered genetically to resist disease. He chose test subjects near the brink of death. He pulled each of us away from death's door. In some ways it's great, but then...there are side affects."

"Namely?"

"Unimportant to the conversation. The point is that it's a work in progress. It is not necessary that you know more than that. Anyway, the government keeps Charlisle moving around from secret base to secret base throughout the country. Forks was one of those. Small places with few prying eyes. He keeps at his research, and gets paid a lot for it. But there have been...information leaks. Other countries know we've got something going on here, and they want to know what." She looked at the floor. "Last spring, when Edward brought Bella to play baseball with us, we encountered...an agent. Suddenly our position was compromised. We had to get her out of here as fast as we could. That's why she couldn't let you drive her. She was really beaten up about what she had to say to you."

Charlie nodded, familiarity coming to his eyes. "That makes sense" he said.

"Yeah. The worst part was not being able to tell you. Anyway, Carlisle called in the cavalry, there was a skirmish, and things got nasty. The agent was killed and we thought our cover was restored, but as you know Bella was hurt. It was so bad that they had to make up a really outlandish cover story. You remember."

"I do."

"Anyhow, things were fine for a while, or so we thought, but then our supervisor discovered another threat. The higher-ups decided that it was time for us to move to the next facility, but since Bella's disappearance would cause a stir and she wasn't in danger this time it was decided that she would be left behind." Alice shook her head. "Edward broke so many rules by getting close to her. If she weren't so good at keeping secrets, it would have meant trouble long ago." She sighed. "I think that they really over-did it this time though. Coping with the pain of losing Edward must have been impossible for her. She couldn't confide in anyone without making them a party to any trouble in the future."

Charlie put his head in his hands. "I understand" he said. "It makes so much more sense now."

Alice saw that the coffee pot was full and poured a cup for each of them.

"I just have one more question" Charlie said, retrieving the creamer from the fridge.

"I might be able to answer it."

"Why did you come back now?"

Alice bit her lip. "One of the agents associated with our project...saw something that worried him" she said, haltingly.

"What was that?"

"He mistakenly believed that Bella had tried to kill herself. Mercifully, it turns out that he was wrong, but I didn't wait for confirmation; I just hopped on the first plane."

Charlie frowned. "What did she do?" he asked.

"She...she was engaging in dangerous recreational sports, let's put it that way and leave it there."

Charlie frowned. "How dangerous?"

"She won't do it again. I made her promise." _Not that it stopped her the first time._

Charlie sipped his coffee. He liked his black. "So...are we in any danger here?" he asked.

"No, not at the moment. Bella has kept our secret, and the one spy who knew got shot. And then he got ripped to shreds. And then the shreds got burned. Needless to say, all evidence that he, or we, ever existed has been wiped from this part of the earth."

He grimaced. "Oh" he said.

Alice looked up. "I think Bella is awake" she said.


	13. Welcome to Hell

"Jacob?"

"Yeah, who else?"

Sam's voice sounded exhausted. "Jake, I haven't got time for this. I know you're tired, and so am I, but I need to ask you to do something."

Jacob groaned and sank into his kitchen chair. "What is it?" he asked.

"I, uh...I need you to talk to Leah."

His teeth gritted together. "Seriously?" he asked. "Why me?"

"Two reasons; you're more personable than I am, and she and I have history. If I did it myself, things would get awkward fast."

Jacob paused, and sighed. He had slept fitfully the night before, and not for very long. The telephone had woken him before dawn. "Is this an order?" he asked.

"No, it's not. But if you find it so distasteful, are you really going to pawn it off on one of your brothers?"

"No, I guess not. What should I say to her?"

"I need you to give her and Seth the ropes, like we did for you."

"Ok, fine. I'll take them on patrol. Which way will you be going today?"

"To bed, Jake, I'm going to bed as soon as I hang up. I was out all night."

"Oh..." Jacob had not realized how far he had gone from the loop. With Sam's words came the realization that he had no idea where the others would be. "I'm sorry Sam, I know I haven't exactly been at my best since that Cullen came back."

"No problem man, we've had you covered. But it's time for you to do something."

"Ok."

"Thanks man."

"And Sam? We need to keep Bella's house in our patrols. I promised her I'd look after Charlie while she's gone."

"No problem. Goodbye. And uh...good luck too."

"Go to bed."

Maybe it was the predawn light, but Jacob thought the Clearwater residence looked absolutely miserable. He parked the rabbit and turned it off.

The ground was dry for a change, but there would likely be more rain before long.

He could see that Leah's window was open, but he knocked on the door anyway. It was safest that way.

"Hey Jake" she said.

He looked up, then went to her window. She lay on her bed, fully clothed, hands behind her head. "Good morning" he replied.

She rolled over to look him in the eye. "How's it going?" she asked.

"The girl I love flew off to Italy to save her boyfriend from his own stupidity. I bet that's one you haven't heard before.

Leah smirked, though the smile did not reach her hollow eyes. "You're still mooning about Bella?" she asked.

"It's kind of what I do. How are you?"

"Tired. Hurt. Sad. Hateful. It's kind of what I do."

Jacob returned her empty smile. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I smoked a joint last night. No pun intended, but it didn't phase me. Nothing. I could as easily have been breathing fresh sea air."

"You should get some breakfast."

"Right, I've heard that one before. Why are you here?"

"Alpha sent me to show you the ropes. You need to get ready for your first patrol."

Leah growled, eyes narrowed. "Tell _Alpha_ to go shove a cactus up his ass."

"By now he's probably asleep, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the sentiment. Now get up."

Leah sat up and put her feet on the floor. "Jacob," she said, "go to hell."

"Let's go together, after our patrol. Now go get something to eat while I get Seth up."

"What?"

"You're not thinking of staying behind and making me take him out alone, are you?"

Unlike the smile she had shown him, Jacob could see her snarl reaching her eyes.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Jacob, would you like some coffee?"

"Yes please. I like mine black. No sugar, no cream, and I'm allergic to arsenic."

"Then get ready to sneeze."

As Jacob had predicted, Seth was more eager than his sister to begin his new alternate life. He was more somber than usual, as befit a boy the day after his father's funeral, but he leapt at the chance to occupy himself.

Leaving a note on the table for Sue, Jacob made sure each of his charges had an extra change of clothes, and drove them deep into the mossy woods.

"I'm not stripping with you here" Leah said as she shut her door.

"Good" said Jacob. "We'll split up, each undress in privacy, and for god's sake remember where you left your clothes. Leave the extra pair in the car. No point in leaving them in the same place."

As soon as he phased, Jacob could feel the other two's minds as clearly as day. Sadness and fear swept over them as they shifted for the second time. Remembering their first phase was inevitable.

Jacob tried to think calming thoughts, but he ended up being caught up in their memories. It was bad enough that Harry had been his father's best friend, almost as close as an uncle, but seeing the heart attack first hand gave him a fresh pain at the base of his heart. The betrayal he felt at Bella's disappearance seemed insignificant by comparison.

_'Come on guys,'_ he thought, _'let's go.'_

Eager for the distraction, both Leah and Seth caught on quickly. Their canine forms were less buff than those of the other wolves, but they were almost as fast as Jacob even at a full run. Leah particularly gloried in the speed. It was hard not to share the feeling as she sped ahead leaving her troubles far behind her. Like a swarm of flies they would return the moment she stopped, but in motion she was free.

As they went, Jacob relayed his own experience to them, and they drank it in with eager minds.

When the patrol was finished, unsuccessfully, Jacob started toward the fishing hole, but he stopped in his tracks as Leah responded. His fur stood on end as he was treated to the image of Bella's dead stare from half a year earlier.

Mentally he kicked himself. His failure to remember what had happened the last time Leah was there had ruined an otherwise good day.

_'Right, sorry'_ he said. _'Let's head back to the car. We should go get lunch somewhere.'_

They found the idea agreeable; despite his suggestion neither of them had eaten breakfast.

He felt, seeing them return from the woods, that they had changed dramatically through the course of the day. They stood taller, and walked with a greater air of confidence, exhilarated by the run, though their faces were despondent. Leah doubtless did not like letting Seth know how bothered she was by what she had seen that day, and he in turn was suitably disturbed by the account. The affect was compounded by the fact that their father had also been there when it happened.

"I really am sorry" said Jacob, "I honestly didn't think about it."

"Well you shouldn't now either."

Jacob nodded. "So where for lunch? I think I can set us up at my dad's house if you're interested."

Seth grinned, though not as widely as was his custom. "Fine by me" he said.

"Whatever" said Leah.

"Then it's settled" said Jacob, opening his door.

When they were all seated, he started the engine and turned the car around.

As they sped down the dirt road, Seth leaned forward. "Hey Jake," he said, "When do we get the tattoo?"

"Any time, but we have to go to Port Angeles for it. Do you two feel like making that trip today?"

"Sure" said Seth.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she answered, "as long as I don't have to see Emily again just yet."

_Jacob nodded, his expression grim. Leah's animosity would have to reach some kind of resolution eventually, but it was the wrong time to say so. "Then I think we'd better swing by your place again and let your mom know."_


	14. Flight

Leah's shoulder woke her. It was still smarting from the afternoon before, in Port Angeles. If she had slept the night before it, she never would have gotten to sleep that night.

_If everything else heals in a second, why does this still hurt?_

Angrily, she pulled the blanket off of herself and stripped off her underwear. Stark naked, she crawled out her window and phased on the front porch.

The sky was still dark, and the moon still smiled down at her.

The relief of the run came from the necessity of concentration. She had to think three steps ahead of herself in order to avoid taking out a tree in every stride.

The restlessness slowly sapped out of her as she put mile after mile away behind her, pushing herself faster and faster.

Darkness slipped ever into nothingness, as she slipped ever farther into it.

She knew she was not truly tireless, but was not ready yet to idly sit.

On the run her trite world grew large once more, and she could lose herself within its scope.

Flight feet through forest flying as before, she felt no remorse, nor treacherous hope.

Great burst and burst of speed her thighs supplied, fleeing the world of convention in lies, until at last to rest her legs contrived, and she could stop beneath the graying skies.

The sun and the world had been made anew, as over all her troubles Leah Flew.

When her breath was even and her lungs no longer ached, she turned around, and headed home. The journey back was less enjoyable, for no rest lay at its end, but it was still better than sleeping, or worse yet being unable to sleep.

As she came to Forks, Leah slowed, and made to skirt it. She would not walk through it naked, nor could she show her wolf form to the population.

As she passed the Swan residence, she growled. Then she stopped and put her nose to the ground. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end as she recognized the smell Jacob had described to her. The vampire, Victoria, had been there recently.

_'Chief'_ she thought, and ran toward the house. She had no idea if she would be a match for the blood-sucker on her own, and she didn't care. All she could think was that she couldn't lose both her father and his friend within days of each-other. She couldn't take it.

Just inside the trees' fringe, she stopped and eyed the house. To her relief, she could hear Chief Swan talking to someone. The feeling was completed when she realized that the person he was talking to was Jacob Black.

"...got a call from her last night" the police chief was saying. "She explained as well as she could; said that Edward is fine. Alice called ahead of them and got the embassy to detain him until she could talk to him herself. Fortunately no one's position was neutralized."

"Well I guess there's something to be grateful for then" said Jacob. Leah could hear the lie in his voice.

"Yeah. Apparently there's a mess of paperwork for her to go through though, because...of things. But it should all be fine in the end. Alice is footing the bill for the plane-tickets, and everyone survived."

"Sounds like a good dream on a bad night. Well, I just came by to see how you were doing. Before she left, Bella asked me to check in on you."

"I appreciate it Jacob."

Leah heard the door close, and the rabbit start. She barked once, not loudly enough to raise suspicion in the neighborhood, but quite loud enough for Jacob to hear.

The car slowed to a stop in a parking space some distance down the street, then idled, then died.

In moments, Jacob was crashing through the brush, kicking off his shoes as he went. When he stood before her, he did so on all fours.

_'What?'_ he asked.

_'That vampire you've been tracking, I smelled her.'_

_'When?'_

_'Just now, back there.'_

Jacob looked out at the forest. _'I think I've got a whiff of her too, now that you mention it. Maybe she was right here and I scared her off.'_

_'Or maybe she's not interested in Chief, just Bella.'_

_'Could be.'_ He looked at her strangely. _'Leah, if she had been here, were you going to fight her alone?'_ he asked.

_'Well you're here alone too, right? What about it?'_

_'I've been a wolf longer, I'm more experienced, I might be able to handle her alone. Even so, it is best to hunt in a pack.'_

_'Then it's a good thing you showed up, isn't it?'_

_'I guess it is.'_

_'Besides, if I needed help, then I wouldn't deserve it.'_

Jacob growled. _'So if I was dying, you wouldn't trouble yourself to save me?'_ he asked.

Leah glared at him. _'I didn't say that.'_

_'Leah, I need to know you've got my back if we're going after this blood-sucker together.'_

_'Absolutely, let's do this. Never mind whether you deserve it or not, if you need help I've got you.'_

_'Good.'_ Jacob's mental voice was calm again. _'Please try to understand if the feeling is mutual. I could never face Seth if something happened to you on my watch. Fair?'_

Leah grimaced. _'Fair enough, I guess.'_

_'Good. Now lets go get that bitch.'_


End file.
